Thursday, July 18, 2013
To compare or not to compare......... this should not be a question.
I am so unsure of why women are like this!!
Is there anything we do not compare?
hair: styles, colors, looks, cuts, etc.,
we compare weight, bust sizes, measurements,
how we cook, who we like that cooks, kitchens,
Life skills, how we raise our children, the milestones our children hit, when they hit them how much hair, how big, how tall, weights, accomplishments, awards, grades, etc.
And really I can not say that MEN do this as bad as women do.
And yes I am sure I miss a lot of things that we compare, but I am here to say I hate this!
I am sick and tired of feeling JUDGED.
I am sick and tired of feeling COMPARED TO OTHERS! or feeling MY CHILDREN are compared.
This is what I think.............
1. if it works for you. then keep at it, and if it doesnt, then change it.
breastfeeding vs formula feeding, cosleeping vs cribs, cloth diapers vs disposables, organic vs non organic, home made vs store bought, spanking vs non spankers,
I dont care what you do or how you do it, as long as you and your kids are happy that is all that matters.
but let me put it out there.................
MY kids were preemies, and I had no choice in the matter per say.
MY kids are formula fed,
MY KIDS sleep on their own,
MY KIDS are on bottles/sippys
MY kids have had organic, non organic, sugar(very little) and lots of sugar free, MY KIDS like sweet n low........... MY Kids love milk, non organic kind, MY kids eat every thing in sight, MY kids had peanut butter before the age of 1, MY Kids do not like sodas, MY kids wear disposable diapers, MY kids are my kids...... get it? I will spank, I will swat hands, I teach about GOD too!
MY kids walked, crawled, and hit all mile stones in due time. for them.................. MY kids are also all boys! boys usually are slower than girls.......
MY twins got teeth at 5 & 11 weeks actual age......... which means, they were actually 39weeks gestaton and 5 weeks corrected....... (remember people they were preemies)
Daniel has 1 tooth and 1 with a point through right now at 7 months, that just goes to show we . are all different.
I am so sick of hearing well so and so's lil girl is blah blah blah, WHO CARES!!!!!!!! 1. A singleton is NOTHING like MULTIPLES!! Trust me I KNOW! also, just an FYI taking care of one baby is such a breeze compared to multiples! I don't get why so many moms complain! (but then again all kids are different!)
MY KIDS went through hell when I was pregnant with their baby brother, HELL and back per say, they were bashed, by some "family" for being they way they are but get this, I am a stay at home mom. I enjoy it, and I wouldn't change it for the world, They are (were) use to be being here when they woke, when they ate, when they napped, when they went to bed, when they played, when they needed diaper changes, I was always here. My husband made the choices he felt was right, and If you were him who knows what choices you would of made!!!
So, every hospital stay I had, he went with, why? well being its really none of anyone's business I'm letting it out, WHY is because he was afraid of leaving me and his unborn child, WHY is because he was afraid of LOSING His wife and or his baby! WHY is because WE knew that the family and the REAL FRIENDS we had that offered to watch them.......... were totally capable of taking care of the twins, if you sit down and think about the trips we made, how often it was, how far it was and how rough it was YOU probably would of made the same choices!!!! It would make no sense to drop me off and have to turn right back around!!! WE chose the people that watched them wisely, WE knew they could handle it, WE knew they were stable, WE knew they wouldn't lose it with them. I my self and VERY VERY picky over who watches MY KIDS. They are MY kids, that GOD him self bestowed upon me to guide, guard and protect, to raise in the manner that I saw fit. I am a VERY loving person, and I am very trusting but when it comes to MY kids, I choose what I think is best.
Now, back to the comparisons........... that majorly IRK me! I hate yes I used the word hate, I hate when someones's baby is 19 days older or younger, or a month older or younger, or even years older and younger, and YOU feel the need to compare. I don't care if its your kid, your niece, your grand baby or what ever, DO NOT feel the need to compare kids to mine. Technically now days 37 weeks is practically full term, so you don't have a need to do adjusting for prematurity, and there are different levels of being premature. I typically do not adjust the twins or Daniel unless I see fit. And yes Most are caught up by age 2, but again, twins are a different subject all together, everything can make a difference in when milestones are hit, G&Z were above and beyond their levels until I was pregnant and we went through the traumas we did during that time, and YES it made them take steps backwards and turn their twin bond into something even stronger than it was before.
and Yes Daniel was premature too! Even though he was a big baby and over all very healthy he was still premature. I am tired of watching and listening to others and feeling like I should feel guilty that he is not at mile stones that others babies are at. and I have come to the conclusion that I shouldn't! People should take into consideration when they are being inconsiderate! Daniel is still VERY big for his age! not many 7 month, 6 month adjusted babies are in 12 & 18 month clothes, he is strong and is also very chunky appx. 25 lbs right now. so between size and prematurity yes... his mile stones will be different, just like the twins are. does this mean they are stupid or less than since they are not where YOUR kids are? HELLO!!!!!! NO! it doesnt! It means that you should stop and take a moment and think............. NOT everyone is where they should be in life at any age!
And just so you realize this let me show you famous premature babies,
Thomas HardyFranklin RooseveltJohn KeatsMark TwainNapoleon BonaparteRenoirSir Winston ChurchillJohann GoetheStevie WonderD H LawrenceThomas HobbesVictor HugoVoltaireJean-Jacques RousseauAnna PavlovaCarol and Mark ThatcherIssac NewtonCharles DarwinAlbert Einstein
Tiki and Ronde Barber
Michael J. Fox
and just to be even more informative....
The following people have been diagnosed as being somewhere on the autistic spectrum but the specific classification is unknown.
Famous people with
Vernon L. Smith,
Liane Holliday Willey,
People with high-functioning autism
Dylan Scott Pierce,
Famous autistic savants
Jonathan Lerman, ]
James Henry Pullen,
People with severe autism
Famous people with Downs Syndrome
So for those that want to judge..... or think you are special for having a baby that isnt premature or doesnt have issues, or is right on q with every lil milestone.......... stop and think about this! Some of the greatest were not PERFECT to the world but Perfect to their familes! or perfect for them! NO ONE PERSON IS TOTALLY PERFECT, but, anyone can be a somebody! and all should be important! Ok off my soap box for the day now.
Mother of multiples plus one,
Mother of Preemies,
Mother of babies that hit mile stones later,