Saturday, July 27, 2013

Lessons from the playground: Biting tongues,lying & gossiping

So, This week I have I keep thinking about biting our tongues, Only saying nice things, Lying, and treating others as you want to be treated. And, Most of this came from a trip to our Local Sonic playground with our boys.
I was raised and taught the following:
Watch my words, 'Cause words can harm.
Speak with kindness
Think before I speak
Treat others as you would like to be treated
Lying- disrespectful & comes back to haunt you
Gossip isn't nice!

Truly, these are very simple ways of thinking and being raised. Honestly it should not be that hard ..........................Right?!?!?!?

But now days this seems so far from what so many do.
Lie about how we are doing, lie about what is happening, lie about our plans, Lie to our bosses to get out of work, lie to friends to get out of doing things, lie to pretty much everyone about everything.
I truly do not understand why Lying has become such the norm?
I try my very best to tell the truth in what ever I say,
There might be moments that I will not saying things to not hurt others, but I wouldn't lie.

Ok, so here is my story from tonight's Sonic trip.
So, We decided that it was time whether or not I was sick (and man I am really trying to get over it so bad!)
to get the kids out of the house, get rid of the cabin fever and do something.
So, Friday sonic play night. Sadly, its the only place we have in town that truly has a play ground, a real out side, in the sun, in the heat, play ground. And the kids were having a blast! (go Figure my baby b who hates sand at the beach is fine with sand at a play ground! UGH!)
Well, we get there and a few others are there, no biggie, its not like there are big kids so I was all okay!  the kids run and play we order the food, lil Reason is sitting in a bumbo just a cooing at daddy, and I'm running wild with the twinks. We are all having fun! And next thing I know........Here comes a woman, with 2 kids, one is around 1-2 years old and the other looks to be about 6 ish........... well she knows another couple at the play ground. NO Biggie again! right? WRONG, So as we are trying to just enjoy this time, she is all blabbing to the people about her life, her lil one with her is not hers but shes stuck raising him, shes enjoying it but made her realize she missed so much of her own kids lives, the other couple is talking about the 2 yr old they have with them is a great gran, and blah blah. and all the TMI is going on and on and on.
So, lets pause for a moment,
when I am out and about, I try not to talk in public about personal matters, I am not going to be on a cell or talking in person about things that others are not needing to know............. BIG PET PEEVE of mine.....
So This was already putting a small damper on our evening out..........
Well, as shes running down all the family problems, she mentions the older kid is A.D.D blah blah, and a bunch more, well........ I'm watching my kids, Well, isn't that what a parent should be doing? I mean Yes I might be a lil over board being that there isn't a gate to keep them corralled in the place and the play ground is rather high, and the fence around it with my luck the boys could squish through if they really wanted to............ So, I'm watching, and I see her kid just throwing sand all over my babies. She........ is still talking....... not watching and when she does see him , she sits there and hollers hey, quit throwing sand, (mean while that's not when he is doing it to my kids) Hubby is feeding lil Reason....... so, we are trying to hurry up, we had already been there a while and well, we knew the kids were not going to eat as long as they knew they could be playing, even with all the falls, cuts, scraps, bleeding and what not's they had been having and doing. So it continues and continues with her kid, and shes still not doing a thing and not watching, why? cause shes more into talking about her her family, her sister, her daughter, blah blah...........
So, Finally We get the kids and try to start packing it up, well now I'm cleaning the kids, and trying to get sand out of their ears, eyes, faces, mouths, hair, shirts, every small crevice it could be in from the child throwing it on them....... And out of no where, here comes one of the most annoying questions from her! OH all boys, so are you going to keep trying for a girl. THANK GOODNESS My husband answered! Nope, we are done. and shes all well that's a shame.
So, Question, Why do people think it is there business to say oh I bet your done, or Are you going to keep trying, or wow what a group or what ever?!?! Where is it a strangers business, or even family or a friends business to ask these kinds of questions?!?!
Any who, So, this is where I have so many issues.
Why do parents not watch their kids closer?
Why do parents think that screaming from the sidelines will discipline or change the manner a kid behaves?
And when did parents really become so lazy, as to not want to be active in a child's life?
I am not one to want to sit on the side lines, Not if it comes to anything.
Why not want to be active in a child's life? if its correcting bad behaviors? or praising them ? or even if its literally running right beside them? When did we as parents truly decide to NOT be an active figure in our  babies lives?
I am a believer in the spare the rod spoil the child, meaning if you do not discipline, they will just pretty much run wild.
And the lying. Well, I have had several conversations lately with friends and "family" making me wonder why and when did lying become the thing to do?  People do not like being lied to. it offends us, hurts us and really can kill any relationship you have with someone. It ruins friend ships, and ruins trust and bonds that should not be broken in families too!
And since we are on the subject of lying, what is the point in talking to me, and saying stuff and acting like you like me or my husband, just to turn around and say, hey, oh my her husband is so stupid and so this and so that??? whether or not you are family or a friend, that is so two faced! I'm sick of it. and it has permanently ruined some relationships I have.
People are missing out on My children's lives due to lying, back stabbing, sabotaging, being blinded and of course being two faced.
Nothing that is wrong with you mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually or in any form or fashion makes this acceptable to me!!!
My Children are my world. What I do, what others do or say, will make the difference in them.  And, I refuse to let anything BAD be in their lives.
Irony, to me is that They know, Kids know if you are real or fake....... they feel it, its instinct when they are little. And when I stop and think about we can drive any where and see anyone and they are fine but when we head towards certain people when we did go to see them..... every single time, they would act out on the way there and get physically ill! That should of been a sign to begin with! let alone when they usually didn't want to kiss hug or say bye or even welcome them into the place we were.
I know my subjects are just running into each other, and nothing is making sense really, but.............. this is the thing...............
God knows, God sees, and God hears.
No, he isnt' Santa LOL, but its true.
So, Instead of being rude and hateful tonight at the play ground............ We just packed up and left. it was best for everyone in my opinion. And I tend to do this lots.
In stead of lying, Speak the truth! Try it, It wont hurt I promise
And............. now, I challenge you to get out and do something with your kids/family/husband today. even if its just walking down the street holding hands. Show your family you love them! That they matter, Put the phone away for a few hours. and concentrate on your loved ones. DONT miss out on time with them. Today is a gift, use it wisely for tomorrow is NOT promised! Dont take your family for granted!!!
Sorry for the rants and ramblings of a sick and sleep deprived mommy!


Thursday, July 18, 2013

To compare or not to compare......... this should not be a question.

I am so unsure of why women are like this!!
Is there anything we do not compare?

We compare,






hair: styles, colors, looks, cuts, etc.,

make up,

we compare weight, bust sizes, measurements,

WE compare;



Husbands jobs,

our accomplishments,

husbands accomplishments,



how we cook, who we like that cooks, kitchens,

we compare;

Life skills, how we raise our children, the milestones our children hit, when they hit them how much hair, how big, how tall, weights, accomplishments, awards, grades, etc.

And really I can not say that MEN do this as bad as women do.

And yes I am sure I miss a lot of things that we compare, but I am here to say I hate this!

I am sick and tired of feeling JUDGED.

I am sick and tired of feeling COMPARED TO OTHERS! or feeling MY CHILDREN are compared.

This is what I think.............

1. if it works for you. then keep at it, and if it doesnt, then change it.


breastfeeding vs formula feeding, cosleeping vs cribs, cloth diapers vs disposables, organic vs non organic, home made vs store bought, spanking vs non spankers,

I dont care what you do or how you do it, as long as you and your kids are happy that is all that matters.

but let me put it out there.................

MY kids were preemies, and I had no choice in the matter per say.

MY kids are formula fed,

MY KIDS sleep on their own,

MY KIDS are on bottles/sippys

MY kids have had organic, non organic, sugar(very little) and lots of sugar free, MY KIDS like sweet n low........... MY Kids love milk, non organic kind, MY kids eat every thing in sight, MY kids had peanut butter before the age of 1, MY Kids do not like sodas, MY kids wear disposable diapers, MY kids are my kids...... get it? I will spank, I will swat hands, I teach about GOD too!

MY kids walked, crawled, and hit all mile stones in due time. for them.................. MY kids are also all boys! boys usually are slower than girls.......

MY twins got teeth at 5 & 11 weeks actual age......... which means, they were actually 39weeks gestaton and 5 weeks corrected....... (remember people they were preemies)

Daniel has 1 tooth and 1 with a point through right now at 7 months, that just goes to show we . are all different.

I am so sick of hearing well so and so's lil girl is blah blah blah, WHO CARES!!!!!!!! 1. A singleton is NOTHING like MULTIPLES!! Trust me I KNOW! also, just an FYI taking care of one baby is such a breeze compared to multiples! I don't get why so many moms complain! (but then again all kids are different!)

MY KIDS went through hell when I was pregnant with their baby brother, HELL and back per say, they were bashed, by some "family" for being they way they are but get this, I am a stay at home mom. I enjoy it, and I wouldn't change it for the world, They are (were) use to be being here when they woke, when they ate, when they napped, when they went to bed, when they played, when they needed diaper changes, I was always here. My husband made the choices he felt was right, and If you were him who knows what choices you would of made!!!
So, every hospital stay I had, he went with, why? well being its really none of anyone's business I'm letting it out, WHY is because he was afraid of leaving me and his unborn child, WHY is because he was afraid of LOSING His wife and or his baby! WHY is because WE knew that the family and the REAL FRIENDS we had that offered to watch them.......... were totally capable of taking care of the twins, if you sit down and think about the trips we made, how often it was, how far it was and how rough it was YOU probably would of made the same choices!!!! It would make no sense to drop me off and have to turn right back around!!! WE chose the people that watched them wisely, WE knew they could handle it, WE knew they were stable, WE knew they wouldn't lose it with them. I my self and VERY VERY picky over who watches MY KIDS. They are MY kids, that GOD him self bestowed upon me to guide, guard and protect, to raise in the manner that I saw fit. I am a VERY loving person, and I am very trusting but when it comes to MY kids, I choose what I think is best.

Now, back to the comparisons........... that majorly IRK me! I hate yes I used the word hate, I hate when someones's baby is 19 days older or younger, or a month older or younger, or even years older and younger, and YOU feel the need to compare. I don't care if its your kid, your niece, your grand baby or what ever, DO NOT feel the need to compare kids to mine. Technically now days 37 weeks is practically full term, so you don't have a need to do adjusting for prematurity, and there are different levels of being premature. I typically do not adjust the twins or Daniel unless I see fit. And yes Most are caught up by age 2, but again, twins are a different subject all together, everything can make a difference in when milestones are hit, G&Z were above and beyond their levels until I was pregnant and we went through the traumas we did during that time, and YES it made them take steps backwards and turn their twin bond into something even stronger than it was before.

and Yes Daniel was premature too! Even though he was a big baby and over all very healthy he was still premature. I am tired of watching and listening to others and feeling like I should feel guilty that he is not at mile stones that others babies are at. and I have come to the conclusion that I shouldn't! People should take into consideration when they are being inconsiderate! Daniel is still VERY big for his age! not many 7 month, 6 month adjusted babies are in 12 & 18 month clothes, he is strong and is also very chunky appx. 25 lbs right now. so between size and prematurity yes... his mile stones will be different, just like the twins are. does this mean they are stupid or less than since they are not where YOUR kids are? HELLO!!!!!! NO! it doesnt! It means that you should stop and take a moment and think............. NOT everyone is where they should be in life at any age!

And just so you realize this let me show you famous premature babies,

Pablo Picasso

Thomas HardyFranklin RooseveltJohn KeatsMark TwainNapoleon BonaparteRenoirSir Winston ChurchillJohann GoetheStevie WonderD H LawrenceThomas HobbesVictor HugoVoltaireJean-Jacques RousseauAnna PavlovaCarol and Mark ThatcherIssac NewtonCharles DarwinAlbert Einstein

Tiki and Ronde Barber

Stevie Wonder

Joe Jonas

Michael J. Fox


and just to be even more informative....

The following people have been diagnosed as being somewhere on the autistic spectrum but the specific classification is unknown.

Daryl Hannah,

Christopher Knowles,

Matthew Laborteaux,

Katherine McCarron,

Jason McElwain,

Michael Moon,

Jasmine O'Neill,

Sue Rubin,

Birger Sellin,

Robert Gagno,

Famous people with

Asperger syndrome

Dan Aykroyd,

Richard Borcherds,

William Cottrell,

Craig Nicholls

Gary Numan,

Dawn Prince-Hughes,

Judy Singer,

Vernon L. Smith,

Satoshi Tajiri,

Daniel Tammet,

Liane Holliday Willey,

People with high-functioning autism

Michelle Dawson,

Temple Grandin,

Hikari Oe,

Bhumi Jensen,

Dylan Scott Pierce,

Donna Williams,

Stephen Wiltshire,

Axel Brauns,

Famous autistic savants

Alonzo Clemons,

Tony DeBlois,

Leslie Lemke,

Jonathan Lerman, ]

Thristan Mendoza

Jerry Newport

Derek Paravicini,

James Henry Pullen,

Matt Savage,

Henriett Seth-F.,

People with severe autism
Tito Mukhopadhyay,

Famous people with Downs Syndrome

Chris Burke
Jane Cameron
Sujeet Desai
Michael Johnson

Bernadette Resha

So for those that want to judge..... or think you are special for having a baby that isnt premature or doesnt have issues, or is right on q with every lil milestone.......... stop and think about this! Some of the greatest were not PERFECT to the world but Perfect to their familes! or perfect for them! NO ONE PERSON IS TOTALLY PERFECT, but, anyone can be a somebody! and all should be important! Ok off my soap box for the day now.


Mother of multiples plus one,

Mother of Preemies,

Mother of babies that hit mile stones later,