Friday, September 13, 2013

When one Chapter ends

Tonight's blog, is a blog of reflection......... Sorry Ya'll.

I sit here thinking about memories & being nostalgic on the happenings in my life up until this point.

We moved to this lil place, Crockett,  when I as the age  our twins are, two and a half years old. I have left and come back and left and come back and repeated this process over my life.
First, for school in Houston Cause I HATED school here.
Then back and ended up at Grapeland for my remaining years in school.
Then To Huntsville for a short misguided time with a boyfriend.....
Then back..............
Then to Trinity for another misguided time.....
And then back, this time back to the house I was raised in.... For what I like to call a starter marriage.
It should of been, kind of wish from time to time it hadn't of been, But, we live we learn  we grow and we move on. One of the most learning experiences ever. I learned how not to love someone, and how not to be loved, I learned How a marriage should work and how one shouldn't, I learned what was important in a marriage, and what wasn't,  how to speak to someone and how to let someone speak to you.
Lets just say God knew what he was doing as I took the road more traveled, no really like 3 times prior to me, God knew, that I, his lost and misguided child, would find him, come back to him, and need to be reshaped , molded and formed back into the person I was meant to be. God KNEW that I was not to have kids in this marriage, that it was not for that time. HE knew to let me hit rock bottom, and to let me beg  plead and pray for his guidance, mercy and graces.  God let us part ways........ and it was for the best for sure for me.
a few years pass..........
And I head to a funeral, to support my "brother" when I see his brother....... whom I thought didn't want me there for one minute!
3 months later........ March of 2010..... I get a friends request on Facebook....  At this point in my life.... I had finally became happy! Happy with me, Happy with where I was headed in life, Happy with where I was in the moment, Happy with my size, personality & my confidence! Even Happy Knowing I would never conceive, carry or birth children.............. So, the doctor's said.
So, I accepted the friends request, Knowing the past is the past and things can change. Well, we chatted and talked then talked on the phone. Next thing I know we are going on a lunch date.
From lunch date and being given a gift of a 6 month gym membership (which as a couples membership) things just grew and grew fast. (this is where the house that has rebuilt me comes into play)
After our lunch date, we went to the gym after work,
Our 2nd date. The Gym 

then came back to the house where I preceded make him dinner, the first of many, at the house we are moving from. I believe our first meal was actually a quick one cause we were starving, so it was a salad topped with tons and crab meat. This is when he realized he loved salads. Then he brought me breakfast the next morning.  that night i cooked poni chicken, YUMM! if I do say so my self! and from here............ it was all up hill!
My mother got remarried in May, he was my date. Man did we look good together, and it ended up being our "engagement" pictures

We were already so in love......... SO head over heels, Didn't want to spend a waking or sleeping moment away from each other!
Then July came and we moved into this house together.
August we found out our love was multiplying.......
We were expecting, Expecting a shock and a blessing, Actually expecting two shocks and two blessings, The pitter patter of four lil sweet feet were going to become ours Thanks be to God.
Gabriel Lee and Ezekiel James were born 2-14-11 5 lbs 13oz, 5 lbs 10oz 17" 

Never did I know our love could make and create such beautiful blessings, Never did I expect God to bless us in this way. Thus their names, Biblical for how Grateful I am to the Lord for showing us the mercy and Kindness of him allowing us to have beautiful boys! To this day They still make my heart melt!

So, In this house, we were married(well in a church but this is where we came home to) In this house We brought home our two beautiful twin sons.  We shared our first holidays here, we have fought, we have loved, we have grown, we have become stronger in faith and in love....... we spent the twins first Holidays here............... and then...... We were immensely blessed again.....
Daniel Reason 12-5-12 10lbs5oz 21"long
Three beautiful bouncing boys! Doctors said I would be barren, But God said different! Again, I praised God asking him to bestow blessings upon our boys and name him Daniel.
Again, first holidays as a whole and complete family. 
A perfectly imperfect family that was beyond amazing, and beyond any thing I could ever of imagined!
From one to two, Two to Four, four two Five.I have never ever felt so alive!!!


And here we are ......... now. 
Hubby's working down in Lake Jackson, The Kids and I have been relying on the help of family & friends, to get anything done around town. Yet, as of today.............. We are officially moving!
We have the apartment, we have bills being transferred, everything being set up. And I a great feeling about this!
I believe that we are ending one chapter of our lives, and starting a new one. The possibilities are endless because God  writes our love story and we have the choices and opportunities Down there that are amazing for us, Us as a family and us as individuals!  The schools the kids would end up in are amazing! Keith's job is already bestowing more and more responsibility and opportunities for him to advance and grow. The gym I found has a day care!  the college is right there! for both K & I! the community center has amazing classes! There are parks around every corner!!!  Their library has story time & crafts. Its just so much to take in! The churches I have looked into are phenomenal! 
God didnt just close a door and open a window for us with this opportunity, He  Closed the door, left the window shut, and opened up a wall, and said here is a path, this shall be good for you and your family. Living here we have had blessings. We found love made a family and are eternally Grateful for God allowing us to be in the same place at the same time for these things to happen! But, this town just drowns us other wise. We have been lost sheep here for a while, jobs do not pan out, and IMO this city is dying. they do not allow for real truth growth,  and i felt like we were tied down and not going to be able to grow here. 

I do realize we will miss many things about here. 
Lee's China Inn -the place we have celebrated everything, first date, engagement, wedding, babies, EVERYTHING. Robert was always a first to know everything  lol

some friends, that have been God sends from time to time, I know life gets in the way, and I'm sorry that I wasn't a better friend to many of you. It's not that I didn't have time, I am a stay at home mom, and its not that I didn't care. Its more that I never wanted to be a bother or a burden with my kids. I know that might not make sense but. in my head it did. And I wont lie, I could not always look past the people that have hurt us in one way or another to be able to be around them and the friends that I loved. I might guard my heart, but, I really truly Guard my kids. I know in life we all get busy, but you never know when things will change. or when someone might not be there any more. My life lesson is to live in the moment and always try to be there for those you love..................something I have learned in this time. 

Family, The one that hurts the most is not being around our Great aunt, I love her like no other! She brings so much joy to us! Loves us for us and cares for us for us, Never did she ever look down on us for being together, never did she ever NOT love the kids...... She has a love for our boys, that just makes me smile and want to cry as I write this! Seeing her with our boys, melts my heart so much. and touches me. I love seeing the two different generations just have an amazing love for one another!!! SHE is what will keep bringing us back from time to time. Well, her and her daughters and grandkids, They don't seem like distant family but like family of the heart, I wouldn't ever of imagined how close and how much I could love some  "in laws" Of course I will be sad and miss the relationships that finally started to blossom with other family members.  Just goes to show again, life is short, live every day to the fullest! With with out doubts! love with all your heart!

So, Now i sit here......... knowing, in 17 days, we will share (well the weekend before since that is a Monday) but still. we will share, our last anniversary in this house. A house that was built with love and tears and fears, laughs fights, smiles, hugs,  cuddles, the sweetest of memories.
yet, I can sit here, and say, I am ready to embark on the great opportunities and possibilities that God has for us, For knowing we will be creating new memories, celebrating NEW first holidays in a new city, with new sights, and maybe even new traditions. And I know as I take my last steps off this property, I will leave behind the sad............. leave behind the hurt........... all while thinking of all the good. the holidays I shared with my father in this place, the never ending mornings of coffee, the card games and domino games........ the shows we watched together............... and between this house and the one I was raised in ....... the thing that is stuck in my head is...............






May God's blessings flow to all of you my friends, May you know the love and forgiveness of Him. Know that what blessings we have had bestowed upon us are from HIM and HIM alone!
If it wasn't for God, I'm sure we would of been lost a long time ago!
Thanks for reading our story, the end of one chapter and follow us on the journey of another chapter!
Moving with twins plus one, and so many many more blogs to come! PROMISE!!!!
Love and prayers, 
Jessica