Thursday, October 17, 2013

Sticks and stones

Sitting here today, Thinking about when we are little we are taught the lil saying....

Sticks and stones will break my bones,

but words will never hurt me.

And I realize, I will NOT be teaching that to my kids.

Words do hurt, they hurt in a way that can really leave a scar. It might be a scar on the inside but its a scar none the less!

Looking back to child hood, I was fearless!!

Nothing bothered me NOTHING scared me and NOTHING would ever bring me down!!!

But now, I stop and I realize, There are people on my friends list that I know I should delete. All they do is bring me down. But, IF I deleted them..... I know I would get messages and responses of Why are we not friends any more? Whats wrong? What did I do?

And the thing is, Im too polite to tell people still to this day that they have hurt me. That they have gone behind my back. That the KNIFE in my Back hurts so bad that all I want to do is cry. Why do I not tell them? Cause for one, They are a fake friend. They say they are on your side, They say they are there for you, they say blah blah blah(cause you know when you have one of those friends that is about all you hear after turning the cheek so many times) But it gets tiring, To always be the one to be hurt. To always be there for them though, text, email, facebook, phone calls, but to always be walked on like you are dirt beneath their feet. Heck Today I feel like even Carpet, tile, linoleum, and concrete are above me.

Why do I let things like this bother me? and get me down. And why do I hold it in is what I am always asking myself?

Well today its in a blog. I am letting my feelings out. I might get a PM or two about who are you talking about and what did I do. and again I will as usual respond with Its not you and never mind.

Looking back over the years, I have had a Friend, lets call him Jackson, Who married a lady named Melanie, and they have kids, the oldest is Rebecca. Well, for many many years I was always there for Jackson and Melanie, Loved them to death, I would even consider them family, Just like a brother and sister to me. So when Rebecca came (shes the oldest) of course I would of considered her a niece, Well, From that moment on, it was like I wasn't who they use to care for. I wasn't good enough to watch Rebecca , Or what I got Rebecca as Presents wasnt Good enough. Nothing I could ever do was ever pleasing to Jackson and Melanie. So I felt like I was a piece of dirt. Now their friends Lisa and the aunt Fiona well they could never do any wrong. Never. Lisa, aka Lili, well even though she was just a friend oh she could take Rebecca any where and do anything. and was always the right person for the job. Now my self. again. nothing ever was right or good enough.

Now coming to the more present day. Its the same thing in a different manner, with different people who I continue to try with and continue to be friends "family" what ever with, and I , always feel hurt in the end.

So, even though I am hurt and want to cry, I come back to a famous Dr Seuss quote: Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.

2 Corinthians 5:17-21
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men's sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. We are therefore Christ's ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ's behalf: Be reconciled to God. God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.

Romans 6:18
You have been set free from sin and have become slaves to righteousness.

1 John 5:18
We know that anyone born of God does not continue to sin; the one who was born of God keeps him safe, and the evil one cannot harm him.

1 Thessalonians 1:4-6
For we know, brothers loved by God, that he has chosen you, because our gospel came to you not simply with words, but also with power, with the Holy Spirit and with deep conviction. You know how we lived among you for your sake. You became imitators of us and of the Lord; in spite of severe suffering, you welcomed the message with the joy given by the Holy Spirit.

Colossians 3:12
Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.

1 Samuel 16:7
But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."

John 15:15
I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.

Psalm 139:1-4
O LORD, you have searched me and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O LORD.

Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

And yes I have over loaded you all with biblical verses for a reason..............

The reason being. that even though I am hurt and saddened by the people of the world.

I know MY Father, MY God Has plans for me..... MY GOD LOVES ME FOR ME! I dont need friends or fake friends, I just Need MY GOD and MY Family.

And speaking of family.

Matthew 18:20 says

20 For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.”

So for anyone that would like to complain or say something about our not being in a church at the moment. here is my answer!!! there are 5 of us. My husband can lead && will Lead, and what is more amazing that surrounding your self in Gods creations of out side: the ocean, the trees, and everything he created in just a few moments!

anyways not exactly the blog i wanted to do bout moving, so...... we will get on that one sooner than later so you all can know what an amazing place we are in compared to the stagnate state we were at with where we came from.

Blessings and love!

Jessica the TWINspiring mom.

P.s. I hope this blog leaves you with a good taste in your mouth. One that lets you know its not where you come from but where you are going. One that lets you know Do what is your hearts desire and NO ONE else matters but God and your family. One that lets you know that YOUR happiness DOES NOT depend on OTHERS

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