Nov 12- Nov 20…………..

Well, Its been a while since I blogged and I know I promised last week that I would actually blog and actually add numbers to my phone….. I have failed you all! Really I have!!
So…………
Nac trip 1
Monday Nov 12th.. went to the clinic for normal nst testing……. Daniel refused to cooperate for the monitoring so we ended up heading to the hospital around noon…… then had to fight with them to get them to go faster …. apparently a.s.a.p. does not mean anything to them!! so starting at noon it was hell………….  had an ultra sound after being checked in them had to walk to L & D then was monitored there were the nurse just gave up and held the monitor on him for 20 mins………… was stuck there till almost 5 due to them delivering a baby ………. not mine but someone else's LOLOL……… then finally released and send home……..  Did find out that it meant I was not needed to come back on Thursday for monitoring after heading to Galveston on Wednesday…….. weight loss of 1.5 lbs…..(yay right?!?!?!)

Galveston…………………….
WE  woke and left around 5 am…… Not too bad.. thinking we would hit a ton of traffic…… well……. We missed it…. Yay! But…… we were also 3 hrs early!!!!!!! drove around bored for about 2 then decided we were going to go to our OBGYN appt early…..  which they took me back about 30 mins early……
got weighed in. another loss of about 1.5 lbs……(I was getting excited now!!!)
got vitals done then got moved from that room to another… they were gonna get him on the NST ……………so they thought…….. well My baby boy Daniel Reason has now been dubbed Ninja baby! =) he is so active!!! Which they LOVEEEEE but he does NOT want to cooperate on an NST for nothing!!! SO…… after idk how many mins they decided I was going to be rushed to the level 2 ultrasound earlier……. (appt was at 1130 for dr and 3 for u/s) this was bout noon now…… so many hr in drs office with them trying to get him to behave…… Oh and let me make you mamas jealous.. UTMB has a great habit of having “recliners” for you to take your NST in!! OMGGG sooooo comfortable!!!
SO, from 7th floor to 3rd floor we went(after sneaking in a quit bite of a sammy and some pork rinds…. I was a starving diabetic!!!!!!)  well Good news is……. There is NOTHING wrong or showing up with the ventricles in his brain!!!!!!! PRAISES BE TO GOD ALMIGHTY!!!!! I cried when she said that!!!!!!! NOTHING WRONG!!!  Shocker was…………. His estimated weight is 7 lbs 14 oz………. 8 freaking lbs!!!!! at 32 weeks 6 days!!!! Is this possible!!!! OMG!!!!!!!  
From there due to drs previous orders I was sent for monitoring at L&D……… soo……….. so back in the van drive around the building (it was so much easier than having to be wheeled…….) on elevator up to another floor and walk around the corner…… well we get there im put on nst…… he kind of behaves for them….. then its swab swab swab………….
swabbed for the stds……. swabbed for the normal swab at 36 weeks to see if I need the antibiotics( cant remember what the test is yall sorry!)  swabbed for UTI…..swabbed for a few more things too…… then checked my cervix…..  still high and closed and firm etc.. NO changes.  yay and boo. LOL!!!  so they tried to keep me… yeah right…… why did they want to ?? to monitor and control my sugars!! HELL NO!!!! I ended up signing out AMA cause that lil dr was STUPID……………. she said they wouldn’t touch Daniel or take him out util 39 weeks no matter what. yeah right!!!!!!!!!!!!  she thinks is my sugar causing all the issues.. YEAH RIGHT!!!!!!!!  anyways…. so AMA I signed and home I came again jiggity jig.
Friday……….
I know most of you know from statues that a niece of ours passed away Friday…….  well the was hit by a car…… she was walking very close to their house with a friend of hers…… Ash was only 12 years old…… a sweet angel!!! 1 of two of the most accepting people on that side of the family….. Darling angel will totally be missed….. but I believe all the “drama “ and “stresses” from this is what led to last night’s ER run….

So……. after much debating cause my head was splitting and eyes hurting etc.. I sent Keith to find a blood pressure cuff again….. a good friend said we should check and see… well I was 170’s/ 90’s the first time…. then I decided to try and lay down… it still steadily rose to about 182/110……….. Keith went to pick up ma, who came to stay with the boys a dear friend of his said we should  get me to a hospital and that they would give us gas money.. to get there and back… ( we were low on funds and very low on gas…. thanks to what seems like a battle to get unemployment….)
Well, we got the gas and we headed to nac. first BP there was 160’s over 90’s….. still not good…..  they went on and sent me up to L&D for monitoring….. oh and I also found out that….. I gained 9 freaking lbs since Wednesday!!!!!!!!!!!! *cries*
so L & d we went… Monitor monitor monitor…… yupp I should be so used to this….. they measured my fundus…. 53 weeks is what I am measuring now…. but that one stupid dr didn’t want to touch baby. HA! he’s gonna be coming on his own eventually you stupid heads !!!!  and the nurse last night looked shocked they didn’t start steroids…… so they did a bunch of swabs, cathed me after  a urine sample turned out having blood…. I do have a UTI now, started pills for that while there, my will you deliver prematurely with in two weeks came back negative……etc…..  so…… few contractions on the screen and when I get em they are good ones.. but not in a “order” so I should still be safe….  Daniel did wonderful for this nurse!!! I’m so sad she’s in nac and not on the island, which come to find out after all the chatting we did all night. she is from the island and use to work there =) she was amazing!! anyways… longer story short…… I'm technically supposed to just lay around on my side.. trying to keep bp down…… and do noting more… but they didn’t state bed rest…………… so back home again this morning….. well after noon……LOL. I'm so tired and exhausted and worn out………
OH and guess what? why you fools are all fighting over goods and electronics and stuff that the day before you were so grateful for all you had……… but Friday you need more……. I will be fighting too……… for black Friday NST and BBS(??) and I believe more blood work and stuff…… just all in a hospital……. I get to participate in a hospital black Friday Ain’t I fun!
Oh and speaking of labs………….. They did take about 7 vials of blood and ran a ton of labs….. seems everything is ok…… (as a separate) but as a whole its more worry some shows how im very high risk. =(   and I might be with in normal ranges of stuff but lots of it is so border line being either too high or too low…. it was very worry some…… like….. the PE symptoms…….. are more like HELLP symptoms like the one lady from FB said to look for!!!  cause ,my WBC count is def low….. well not low low but on the very low side of “normal” spectrum……… see wasn’t my nursey a blast last night??? she told me everything…… and its cause of her I got to stay and be watched. =))
So home now……… Go back to Hosp on Friday… then I believe back to clinic on Monday………. trying to remember to keep yall all updated…………… promise!!!
Love,
Jessica and Lil D

give away link……….

http://proverbs14verse1.blogspot.com/2012/10/celebrating-new-look-giveaway.html

Eenie-Meenie-Minie-Mo…..

 

When Will Daniel come and let me hold…. I guess we’ll never know ;)

This is what Kind of runs through my head on a daily basis  now…………. When will this child come!?!?!?!!  *SIGH!* I know No matter what any dr says.. He will be premature… I could almost bet on it…. And more so now because… Lets compare

31 weeks…………………………………… 32 weeks……………..
  

Look a little different???????????????  YEAH!!!!!!!!! I have dropped! !!!!! AND…. When I started dropping with the twins.. I had maybe  a week left in me…… When it was a drastic drop like this!!!!
SO……….. It’s the wait and see game for sure now!!!

Left this morning with Boys staying with their Gigi…….. and Keifer and I on our way to nac…… Arrived there on time… got looks of disapproval for not having the twin Spider monkeys with us……………
SO……… Did my urine, did my weigh in….. still about the same. guess its good I didn’t gain 7 lbs in like 2 days!!!!!!

went to the room to get monitored……

Was on the Nst for a while…. Love hearing his beautiful heart beat……. Gives me a lil sense of serenity……Then I met a midwife……… which has me at the conclusion……… I don’t like mid wifes!!!!!!!!!!  *crosses arms and pouts* If I heard one more time out of her mouth every pregnancy is different…… I was gonna give her an upper cut………….. and if it wasn’t that.. it was well Twins come early…… really? really? you think? would you actually like to talk to half the women I have “met” that have gone to 40 weeks and BEYOND with twins……..????????????? Yes it happens……MOREEEEEE than anyone would ever think…….. That just made me want to hit her with a frying pan………..
Then it was….. Well  its normal. you gain. really? WTF USB…… Its normal for a person to gain freaking 7 lbs in a week???? twice??? and a previous 10 lbs before that??? for a high risk clinic to not want to touch me and send me here where I feel I am getting no answers?!?!?!!  They better be Glad the WRATH OF MELIPET Didn’t come down on them like the “strong arm” (haha I hate those commercials)
I mean being huge is just what I wanted to achieve during my singleton pregnancy…… all the signs and symptoms of preeclampsia…  Yah know all the things I DIDN’T DO during my Multiple pregnancy!!!!  Are happening now! Im BIGGER AND FATTER AND WIDER AND MORE MOODY… I hurt more and ache more and cry more and want to punch people more……
I measure ahead just like I did with them…… But now…… Its worse… its more issues, more complications, more more more……. but Can I get a straight answer????? HELLS TO THE NO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sorry ya‘ll I’m beyond frustrated!!!!  I am at my limit!!!! Only thing is that Today I reached 32 weeks……… Today I am scheduled for Galveston to see the WOMAN behind the curtain……. Marlo…… Who will hopefully have answers or do something with Daniel and I!!!!! that is scheduled for 11:30 am……. Then if we make it out of there…  at 3 at the latest I have another level two ultra sound.. *sigh* I know my lil man needs to bake more…… I know this…… I have already had preemies……… I did not expect to have another……  Its not something I would even wish on my worst enemy!!!!! 

 

These are some of the things listed in this pic that are possible and that people go through…… and we went through our fair share just with Gabriel and Ezekiel………. Now, I wonder and ponder and worry, and fret and stress over what will come with Daniel………….

 

And all that plus some is running through my head……………
But all I keep thinking is I have a feeling if they would shut up and look at me and Daniel…. They would see its truly best for both of us if he was to arrive here sooner than later………. I really think My body is not doing good for him and hes not doing so great for my body at this point…….

Things are just not what they are supposed to be…… its just not right at the moment. SO, Praying hard they find and see what they need to Come Wednesday…… I’d be at 32w6d……. Literally 1 week 6 days shy of what I did make it to with the twins………
But we need answers…… WE need something that will help us move forward…… Not just be stuck and not know a single thing…… My sugars are still not good…… Its……. just not a good rollercoaster for his first ride =(
I’ll attempt to blog tomorrow about some Good things in my life….. and about a NEW bucket list I have created… 

Ya’ll all have a good night!
love,
Jessica and Daniel

Waiting for my Heaven on Earth…..

 

I was sitting here trying to think of witty titles….. and interesting quotes….. being that I don’t hold those cute things in my head……. Now my brother on the other hand…. he has always been able to come up with witty and “nonsensical” things… that will just always make you either stop and ponder or just stop and laugh at how funny or cute it is……. He would rock at things like jeopardy I'm sure! You give him a book and then its in his head….. never fails….

So I came up with this one……………

“The family is a haven in a heartless world.”
- Attributed to Christopher Lasch

 

This would be us…… (well the closest I could find HAHAHAHA)

So, I have been Storing up energy…… AS IF THAT’S POSSIBLE!!! Really I have been sleeping so much and so grateful for a Husband that has had time to step up and Take over so I can……. But yesterday Im sure you all know was a Doctors appointment day…………..

Got there a few mins late with Twins in hand also….. They rushed us back to the “big room” Accepting the twins with out a hesitation………..

Dr was very shocked…… in all honesty that I had not had Daniel…… She really felt in her heart also that they were going to take him. She was so apologetic for How things turned out when I was on the floor for them making me feel like I must be crazy………. She was shocked they did NOT want to do the steroid shots…… and pretty much still says…… it’s a week by week( or im thinking a Tuesday by Thursday) wait……  SO really its coming down to…….. Daniel Reason will come in is own time ……. (unless other wise stated) and she's pretty sure like me that we wont make it to December……….

My BP was still elevated……. Ive gained another 6+ lbs…… that must be fluids….. sugars are still not that great…… Its just a battle of My body vs Daniel……. and God protecting both of us…….. SO………..

Im Waiting On my heaven on earth to arrive…… to be able to hold him and love him and to bring him home when the Lord is ready for us to have him…… Im so anxious and ready and willing……. Some days I just don’t think my body can take much more…… the pain is becoming unbearable…… I know it’s the fluid in my body……… and the weight that is making it this way……… Sad to say I was more comfortable in the Twinks pregnancy….. than I am at the moment… Im also heavier and gaining more and more  than I was when I checked in to deliver Gabers and Zekers……  The stress of not knowing if we will make it another day……. Of not knowing if im gonna have to wake the boys, and head to a hospital in the middle of the night with the help of my adoring husband….  Of not knowing when or where or how or why…….. BTW if you cant tell………. I swear I am a  major control freak!!!!!!!!!!

Its adding stress to our marriage…….. We still talk and communicate but in all honestly since I'm blatantly honest in my blogs…. like I told the Dr yesterday……. WE are both to scared to even be intimate …..  Fearing that it could cause more problems….. and we have felt like this for months…..  I'm so puffy, NO matter how cute or sweet or loving or caring he is……. I feel like shamu’s older bigger sister…… Shamu ain’t got nothing on this whale!!!! Even when we do talk….. its still like we are trying to avoid some of our major feelings……. we both still fear me or Daniel or both of us NOT coming home….

We have come to the conclusion….. Unless we make it to Aunt Louise’s (really great aunt Louise’s) for Thanksgiving…… We will not be celebrating thanksgiving…….. We might get a tree up for Christmas…. but then again….. we might not….. The boys will Not have presents from us ……making us both feel like failures and lousy parents…….. But….. we are having to prepare for the worst…. worst being a funeral of any sorts……. next in line is tons of driving back and forth to the island when we can to see Baby D……..  and thinking of what all we might need for baby D when he arrives that medical ins might not cover or we might have to cover parts of…….. *sigh* It’s a never ending thing……….

Yes I know “the twins are young, They wont remember these holidays…….. Halloween wasn’t a biggie……. thanksgiving isn't a biggie…… they wont remember their Christmas’ they aren't even two” But in all honestly….. That’s not even the point…… The point is that I want my children to want for nothing and need nothing…… will they have everything they ever want.. HECK NO! I'm not a spoil the child person…… I want them to know the value of a dollar….. to understand money does not grow on trees. to grow up like I did Giving up holidays to actually give to others……….

I remember one day my mom and grandmother and father came home… our Blazer(or bronco I cant remember which) was loaded down with presents…. all wrapped for Christmas…… My brother and I came out side and they told us to Pick ONE present….. So we did….. I believe mine was a jewelry box…. one with that lil ballerina in it…… and I asked what were the rest for….. They told me we had 2 Full cooked Christmas dinners that mom made…….. and all these presents we were going to load up in the vehicle and go and deliver to families they were needy…….. I thought wow….. even as a kid I totally understood…….. I want that for our boys….. for them to understand….. but at the same rate……….. They are babies!!!! They have no clue….. SO if I am home …. I know in my heart I will be so sad and so upset for them not having a Christmas……….  Hopefully they can have all of us home at the least…. other wise…… I know I will be in total tears………

 

I know I'm such a chipper person……. I swear I'm a lot more up beat when I am not having to worry about every single thing that happens during a pregnancy of mine……. Oh and also found out today after talking to TONS of NICU parents….. that I should ask the dr about HELLP syndrome…….. and that I'm pretty sure part of the problem with Gabe and Zeke not just that it was twins like everyone wants to say but that it was PROM…. symptoms…… and  that actually leads more so to the problems I am currently having……

Oh and in order to make sure we are cutting back on ALL cost for the heck of it to make sure we have plenty “extra” for what may comes…  WE have let our Tmobile cell phones go…… And we as of now have ONE  Go phone (att)  that we will be using.. figure since I have a home phone… he can call if he is away…. and if we are traveling we will have the one line…. and if I am hospitalized he will still have a way to get ahold of me by calling the hospital room………….SO IF you my peeps need our number……. PM or something….. and we will get it to you…… its unlimited everything and a heck of a lot cheaper than a plan!!!!! Go us for getting smart for once!

Well, Im outta here for now….. Have dr’s appointment in the am at 930……….. and my Level two was rescheduled for Wednesday the 14th at 3 so that I can possible see dr marlo on the same day……. WOOHOO…… Aint my life just as exciting as a barrel of monkeys!!! =))

Love to you all and thanks always for what prayers you say for us!!!!

Good night my peeps!

Jessica and Daniel……….

Like a batter with his third strike……… He’s outta there!!!!

So……….. Since being back…….. I have had non stop contractions that just get harder and harder….. but NO I have not and will not go to a dang hospital…………….

Oh and I was losing parts of my mucus plug while in the hospital but they looked at me like I was crazy…..mmm k yeah I didn’t have a child naturally before with out having to have my water broken or my membranes stripped (not saying I'm better just stating the facts!!!)

SO, Now last night I was freaking big time It seemed no matter what I did I could not get him to talk and be chatty with me(ie bump kick hit flip) I did everything even ate real ice cream.. finally I got in the bath tub and he said HI MAMA!!!!!! =) lil stinker!  so things that have been freaking me out… I have no energy.. been sleeping as much as my dear honey would let me.so for three days all I have wanted to do, or all I have done is sleep…….. And its kind of scary….. I already am pretty sure I have dropped.. quite a bit…… today we were noticing it looks like he went from being transverse last Tuesday to being head down today……. I swear I have been feeling his lil hands down there trying to bust out and wave saying hi world!!!!!  Im prepared and totally unprepared……………

How do you prepare your self knowing your about to have 4 men(3 littles) in your house?!?!?! How do you really honestly prepare to have a new born and two toddlers!?!?!?!?! I can NOT wrap my mind around it……

 

                         

I tried having the swing and stuff out for the boys to get use to………………………  But really its just making them mad they cant touch and play with it!!!

ANd all I have been thinking is that One day I will walk out this door…. kissing three men….. and come back with 4!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and to think I thought that this was perfection!!!!!!!!!!

So…… In all honesty……. I have not been handling things well at all lately…. I'm so tired… so frustrated by not getting real answers from the drs down at UTMB (which I stand by is a great place) But I know I have preeclampsia!!!! but they just do not want to admit it!!! I have every sign and symptom of preterm labor……. but they think its crazy to have a singleton and have preterm. (have they met half the ppl in my nicu pages?!?!?! NO!!!!!!!!) Im so beyond worried, I know I need to be packing a bag right now for the unknown of what might come tomorrow at the drs appointment……. *sigh*  The twinks know something is up….. they have been so unruly so crazy and wild and crying and screaming.. Im so frustrated (yes this is a first I have ever said that so don’t faint!) but its because Im not supposed to carry them.. or pick them up….. I cant console them like I want to and feel like I should!!!!! Its making me feel crappy and worthless as their mother!!! especially when even standing and cooking or trying to do laundry or what ever is making me have contractions!!! I am honestly so dang depressed, all I want to do is cry but all that does is make me hurt more….. Im not sure how it can be that I physically hurt more with my singleton pregnancy that I did with my twins!!! Its Unbelievable!!!! for real!! I sit here trying to enjoy every moment he is in me knowing…… this is the last time I will ever be pregnant…… This is the last time I will feel like I am helping God really work a miracle…. Creating a lil life a lil man from whose image is mine and Keith's and Gods!!!!! I try to cherish every flip or kick or punch…… and I still just want to break down and cry every 5 mins cause something or everything or nothing is going right/wrong!!!!!  I know this baby boy needs to keep baking but Im not sure I can physically take it any longer or that my body can  I cry with every movement……. yet I am still so head strong I am still getting ticked off at keith for taking over and doing everything I cant……… I feel helpless and hopeless…… and as far as all else in our life……. its depressing as hell too……… I can not tell a lie

Hes looking at selling his truck…… which means a 1 vehicle family….. NOT COOL! not cool when I will have check ups Daniel will and we have dentist and drs appointments to catch up on with the twins….. and knowing he will have to find a job… I get that he is trying to provide for our family one way or another………

oh yeah ya’ll btw…. he’s been fired if I didn’t out right let that out……. and honestly I don’t think it has anything to do with is working and being a great worker…. but I think it had to do with me and a high risk pregnancy they they didn’t want to deal with at all!!!!

and if he did try to go find a job now….. how the heck would I get back and forth to Nac every Tuesday and Thursday knowing I'm not allowed to drive?!?!?!  and if we have one vehicle…. it’s the same predicament……. then its we will never be able to afford 2nd vehicle again…………. AND im mad!!I BOUGHT THIS TRUCK FOR HIM WITH HIM (its also in my name LOL) HE saw it wanted it and we made it happen…………. Can you tell im not a happy wifey about his want to be decision?!?!?!?!

and if he gets a job?!?!?! then what??? if its now…. he will not be able to be here when baby comes… or help me after……. since I have the option to birth either way but I am choosing the best way for me……. I wont be able to lift the boys……… UGH!!! still!!!!!

Ok I think im just gonna have to give all this a rest here at the moment. I know I need to get to bed for our 930 appt tomorrow morning……. love to you all…………..

Jessica and Daniel…

……… 31 weeks

Trusting in our Lord…..

Some times you learn something from the most unusual…….. or for us the most usual.. place ever.

We are a huge veggie tales family!!! I have adored them since my niece was in diapers!!!!

Anyways we received the incredible league of extraordinary vegetables………… and the verse it ends with is this……………………..

Psalm 56:3 being the part they emphasized…… 

When I am afraid I will trust in YOU…

And here we are…… Worrying…….. Keith is beside his self worried that he will not only lose Daniel Reason, but Lose me too…….. He opens up a lil at a time about it……. and Im glad but I wish there was something I my self could do to soothe his soul.  We have really been trying to cherish the moments we have together and with the twins….. which is hard… cause as any real family and real person will admit in the midst of adversity……… in the midst of the storm…. is when its hard to stand firm… to stand tall…….. There are so many moments I want to just throw my hands up in the air and scream “Serenity NOW” (from Seinfeld ;D )

So……………….

October 30th we had an appointment in Nacogdoches…… again to check on Daniel and I , Our Tuesday appointments were to see the dr and to get an NST done………. well….. I gained 8 lbs from Friday to Tuesday……  my blood pressure was up….. my urine was full of protein.. it ended up me on the NST waiting to hear back from a dr Marlo in Galveston…. who said we were to get down there asap and I was being admitted…………..

OHHH Joy…… so an hr drive home……. then pack.. then 5 hrs plus down to Galveston…… needless to say we hit traffic every direction we went!!! so we get there I get asked a million times why are you here…. well hello stupidos!!!!!!! you told me to come I didn’t request to come!!! finally was put in L&d from, about 6 til 3 am……. no food no water…. tons of contractions……  well at 3 am they gave me food wrong doses of meds… then sent me to the floor… so from 2nd floor (ER) to third floor L&D to 6th floor…..

well they started pushing IV’s and giving me meds started a 24 hr urine…… some how come Thursday morning they decided all blood work all urine etc was perfectly normal.. yet….. contractions still here…..  they finally let me go home …… we were back in Crockett around 515pm……… all I wanted to do was hold my babies and cry………. I hate I missed their Halloween……. hate hate hate……. no really I do……….lol.

I have been so emotional and so down and depressed for missing a holiday…. something that might not of been important to them. but it sure was me……. enough to over spend on the cutest Disney store costumes ever……. enough to have been so excited when they wanted to wear them the moment they came in and they did NOT want to take them off………..

anyways… So….. We made it to 31 weeks…… yay…….. and are at home…… still baking still contracting………. blog again later on another day……

 

J & D

UTMB Galveston---- slightly reassuring….. But nothing solid….

Well, As you all Know Tuesday we left to head down to Galveston Island……..  Trip took what seemed like forever, even though really it was not as long as it even felt.  The whole way down we tried to distract out selves…. Talk about what we could…Listened to “our” radio station from teen years… Tried to almost avoid the Daniel subject as much as possible…  Not that Daniel is ever an untouchable subject… but every time I would move uncomfortably, or  touch my HUGE preggo belly…… My Dear hubby would look at me with concern and be questioning if I was ok, if something was wrong…  Then we would both just about burst into tears knowing we honestly do not know a true answer to that.  Our guts have no clue, We are over thinking every single thing….  Then……. We saw water!!!!!!!!! YAY!!! we were crossing over the bridge.. and able to see (well tried to see cause it was pitch black )  I have to say I did extremely well on the drive down  only 2 restroom breaks!!! With the twins just leaving home and making it to Houston was a triumph if I did not have to stop more than 6 times!!!  =)
So, We decided to find The Residence first……. Once we located that….  we tried to find the hospital but we turned wrong leaving the parking area then just decided that it was much more feasible if we just tried to do that during the day light hours anyways. So we headed back to The Residence checked in got shown to our room, grabbed out luggage and food and went into the room…..
Tried to sleep…. which Did not work for me.  We turned the lights and tv all off at about 1145 ad come 145/2 am I was awake and couldn’t sleep. Very grateful to my Jennjenn and her grave yard shift hrs…. cause she kept me company with tons of text!!!!
So….. I anxiously awaited  9 am……
Once about 830 came we ran out of the room all luggage packed,  turned in the key and jumped in the swagger wagon.. and headed to find the parking lot….. and the UTMB clinic…….
And it took an ACT of GOD!!!! Roads closed apparently some kind of popo training was going on! BLAH!  When we finally got there we had mins to find the building and get to the floor and appt.
Signed in at 857 at the Obgyn clinic on the third floor, then it was a short wait…. We first met with a lovely older lady (in a wheel chair ) who was so sweet and polite.  She asked if it was ok that she had a dr in training with her which it was. We followed her to her office and then preceded to sit down and wait scared stiff as to what was to come…….. She re introduced her self..(no sorry peeps I can NOT remember a single name of a single person sorry)
Stated that she was the genetic counselor and asked if we knew why we were there…. Which is when I stated to a point… I have not really received answers from most my questions in months, but I do understand I asked to come here and to get a level two ultrasound done to look at my baby boys organs and growth to check on him due to my diabetes and my very nervous, worried and concerned self. She applauded me  =)
Asked us several questions about our health and habits and then preceded to do family trees on both of us up to great grand parents…… and down to our children. over to our uncles/aunts… and down to their kids, and then our siblings and their children……. needing to know mental and physical health as well as if they passed on what was the cause and the ages…… Then after looking over all her drawings(which was really cool a male  or female on my side had different shapes than the males and females on my husbands side. really it was interesting I guess you just had to be there ;D haha ) She flipped open two books, One showing options,   amniocentesis Which can tell us 99% accurately if things are wrong….. But of course can lead to fetal demise…. Preterm labor, leaking of amniotic fluids…….. and so on……….. or The level two ultra sound which is approximately 95-96 % accurate…… and told us that of course it is our choice….. Well With out my husbands consent (Mainly because we feel totally the same on many of these items) I stated that unless it became totally medically necessary for the amniocentesis….. I would prefer to decline that…. and that I would really need them stating at that time that it was the one and only way for us to get an answer to know how to begin treatments or something…… that it would have to be the only choice and last resort….. That even though I know Daniel ( I made sure to say it as often as I could his name I mean) was at a gestational age that was a sign he could live and be normal…… I was not prepared in any way to add any extra risk to him and my self at this time. That we would rather just spend time with the ultrasound tech. To which she replied that’s fine, Its not like an amnio would make a difference at this point any ways cant do anything about it. And then I responded with that is why I refuse the options for those and blood test and stuff from the get go…. I would NEVER choose to terminate my pregnancy…… EVER!!!!!! She smiled. (I liked that.) also loved how the Med student’s face was like Oh wow they are going to have their hands full when he learned that we have two amazing 20 month old twin boys and that Daniel is a boy also…… HEHE I love that look now…. the saying I hate….. cause it’s a lie and people will never understand …. SO….. then she told us that it would be about 35-45 mins doing this ultra sound  and told me from the 2nd binder…… that due to the diabetes I have a higher risk more like a 1/15 to have a down syndrome baby…… and that they would be looking for that as well as looking for spina bifida…… So…. With that… we were sat back out in the waiting room to  wait for our ultrasound…….
The ultrasound………….
First Lets have a beatiful shot….
Meet Daniel Reason Mahanay…………..
Whom I might add…… Un to his Father’s admitting until yesterday…… is also still Daniel! and is still 100% boy!!!!
=) I kept joking with him for a while that if it came out and did not have a “winkie” I was sending it back for a full refund!!! He is now finally able to stand there and say Im having a boy!!! =) Im glad cause if he would of kept on I would of smacked him! LOLOL (totally a joke!!!)
So………. IT took a whole hr for the tech to even get the first pic!!! He was such a wiggly worm and jumping bean that she was lucky to get the good shots she did! But She was also very amazing!!!!!
She literally spend a whole hr looking for his arms and legs and lengths in those and measuring his skull, and looking for hands and feet when he would hold still! HAHA She constantly talked to him saying good baby… Baby roll a lil this way for me…. or that way…. and come on baby please cooperate…….. It was too cute!!! And the set up was very nice! The screen that was hers… was all hers none of this break your neck to see what she sees stuff…… I had my own screen directly in front of me on the wall….. But with each sigh, or deep breath…. I was trying my best to not cry and choke back tears….. she kept measuring and re-measuring…… what felt like certain areas over and over and over…. making me even more nervous…… Then she would say oh look all four chambers in his heart looks good… watching “our” blood flow through him…… through his umbilical cord,…….. through his organs…….. and his heart…… Was damn near breath taking………This was our baby…… (is) that they are trying to look at and figure things out on………. and all I kept thinking is . God will prepare us (I keep praying too cause we are not prepared for what is coming) All I could see when looking at his lil face was Gabriel and Ezekiel and how much he resembles them to me…….. and what a lil miracle he is!!! This is my second pregnancy……. third baby boy…… whom I have been blessed to conceive and carry after hearing for 15 years..  that I would never conceive that I would never have babies. Fertility wouldn’t be for me…… But GOD …… My LOVING HEAVENLY FATHER…. has chosen me to be the mother to these 3 beautiful boys!!!!!!! BOY(S )  AM I BLESSED!!!! So, Then we see his lungs……… My baby boy is was opening his mouth big and yawning…….. Stretching out his lungs…. With every “breath” that brought tears to my eyes!!! All those organs I have been worried about look to be functioning just fine!! PRAISE GOD!!!!!!
Well, then she makes a disc and says that she needs to go consulate and see if this is ok or if the dr wants and needs to look or wants her to try for better pictures……  then leaves the room………. for quite a while……… now im freaking……….. WHen she returns im sure what was about 20 mins later….. She has a tall male dr with her…. HE states his name and why he is here and tells me he would like to look at baby for him self…… So I reposition back to where they want me…… he does his own findings……… Guess I should let out they were looking at his brain…….. very closely………
SO……. before I really go on this is what I have found on the net……..

When certain anatomical features are altered, absent, or present in a fetus, it may indicate Down syndrome. Some of the markers that are examined include:

• the length of the long arm (humerus) or leg bone (femur),
• the length of the nasal bridge,
• the size of the renal pelvis (hypoplasia, pyelectasis),
• small bright spots in the heart (echogenic intracardiac foci),
• small middle section of the little finger (hypoplastic fifth digit),
• a large gap between the first and second toe,
• increased brightness of the bowel (echogenic bowel), and
• pelvic bone angle (widened iliac angle).

So You see they were looking for indications and markers………… Well……. None of those did they see…  What they THINK they might of seen…… is not confirmed or denied…. They saw that in the two places in the brain that we hold water.. to keep it wet so to say……  One side is measuring 1.3 the other side they believe is measuring .6-  neither side is supposed to measure more than 1 cm.
They are unsure though honestly if these are true measurements….. but this is one marker of Downs…….. So…… then things got serious…….
I was given options:
Amniocentesis, Mri, Ultrasound, Or nothing…. and can do cord blood testing after he comes……
Well Amniocentesis was out once he told me it would have to be done in an L&D OR……. and that I would have to be carefully watched and monitored….. *UH HUH!*
Well, MRI was out due to that is laying still( HA YEAH RIGHT! ME AND DANIEL STILL!?!?!) for a long period of time and all while on my back……….. NOPERS!
So I said well, LEts go with ultrasound I love my tech from today and I sure would NOT mind seeing her nor seeing Daniel on the camera again!!! She said she felt flattered =D
So ……. 11-15-12 we have a 1 pm appointment at The OBGYN in Galveston again……. for another fetal ultra sound level two again!!!
Then after this being soooo late and an hr and half past my 10 am appointment I had up stairs on the 7th floor…. they gave me my disc and sent me on my way……. (oh also have an appt set up there with her too for 12-6-12… but she said no point in trying to go beyond that because they are sure I wont last that long………
Oh and Daniel was measuring between 32& 34 weeks depending on the places she was measuring and she was guesstimating that he was weighting 4 lbs 12-13 oz……..

Now, The DR……………. On the 7th floor……….
WE get up there and I was chatting with mom on the phone for a bit letting her know what was happening and how things were going……… Trying my damnedest to not cry around all these people…….. Then we were called back ……….  Well,  its kinda good and bad here too………..  She hates the premixed insulin im on…… and changed it to two separates that I my self mix..  Then…..  the tried to keep me…. cause she wanted straight up my  testing runs this at these hrs while I was supervised…. well….. after tons and tons and tons of crying………  and then finally after agreeing to go along with what ever she wanted. and crying more…. I came to the conclusion there was NO way I could stay………. In all complete honestly….. we are so screwed up thanks to the bills and the bouncing of those checks from the previous job…….. That WE literally had to borrow money from our great “family” to even be able to gas up and go to Galveston in the first place…… NO LIE!  In all honestly water bill is due today…… *HA!* Electric is due Tuesday ….. And what she was asking was to keep me for literally 24 hrs……. when keith misses a day we lose a chunk…… So he couldn’t stay he would have had to drove back home, worked all day. then come down to get me…….. Then drive me back home……. which would of come down to him missing…… friday more than likely…… so we already are shorted 2.5 days…… that would have been 3.5…… and it not possible……. Well In order to come home I agreed to almost anything…… which would have had to happen anyways because they are going to keep a close watch on me big time anyhow. So now I have to go to Nac On friday (tomorrow) And then twice a week from then on…… LET alone….. the trips of at least two if not three down to the island again…… so, left over from the Family borrowed stuff. we have 2.00…… and maybe a 1/8th of a tank…… which is not going to get me to nac no way no how. Im determined to get done what had to be done but this is getting crazy!!!!!! Oh and for those not around the area nac is about an hr away…. 60 miles per say…… in one direction…..  I drive a swagger wagon(mini van) ……. *sigh* Im at a loss over all this………
But… I Got to come home….. =/
well anyways, she stated she wanted my sugar better controlled, and also informed me that…… really…… With my incision, they will not let me go back 37 weeks!! =) So ……. at the latest… by her book…. we will be seeing Daniel December 13th…….. if we go by im 30 weeks today……. Now if we go by his measurements then really since per her words the uterus is the most stupid organ/muscle in the body………. There is a chance at him being born in November !! Guess we might know more after the next ultra sound which I will see her again at also… Oh and ……………. I will have an Island baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
They would rather (well me too with the great care I feel Daniel and I are getting) me birth down there with them….. on the island……… ( btw can you tell I love saying island?!?!?!?!?!?!)
So, after all this checking out being freaked out still having to go back and check out of the room, and get confirmed that I was not leaving AMA and stuff….. I was starving it was late and I had not had lunch at all and all the floors said no food or drinks …… (stupid!!!!!) So we  found a New York Pizza place….
LOOK AT THAT HUGE PIE!!!!!!!!!!!!
Grabbed our own slice…………………..
and walked out to eat on the……………….
where keith had to feed the stupid stupid birds!!! UGH!!!!!!!

First time at the beach together……….. EVER
Oh and ignore the words on the shirt!
I looked awful but from all the crying and stuff for days….. I figure…… WHo cares. He still loves me  and he makes me life complete!!! That’s what mattered to me at that moment (oh and that’s galveston island’s historic pleasure pier……….. THe rides are new this summer thanks to the hurricanes from years ago!)
And since it was not just my love and I at the beach……… Had to Have a moment to let Daniel shine…………
He needs is time to shine! and I believe he will Leave his Mark on the world!!!!!!!!! All for Christ!!!!!!! Daniel Reason!!!!!! Momma loves you lil man!!!
and my relaxing…………….  toes in the water!!!!!! AHH!!!!!!!! COOL WATER

That’s about all I have for an update………….. sorry yall its still kinda inconclusive to a point….
but this is what we have….  and its about all I can give yall
Even though there is a chance at down syndrome…….. Im calmer…….. Im sure its because I know or feel I know his organs are good…  and hes beautiful in my eyes!!! ANd really That I am so ready to meet my lil Daniel Reason and hold him and bring him home God willing!!!!!!!!!

Thanks yall for reading and understanding,
Loves,
Jessica and Daniel.