Monday, January 2, 2012

New Years Resolution….. Or Life resolution?

Here we are in a new year which we all welcome with open arms for all different reasons. Some are glad to see the last year end.  Some are excited to see the new year begin and to see what will unfold for them in their lives.  Some Like to start the year off fresh with new thoughts, new plans, or an almost new life.  We make resolutions, To lose weight, To eat healthy, To better our selves or our lives in some way or another.
But, Why do we do this every year?
First, lets look at the word.
Resolution: Mariam Webster defines this word in several manners but if we stop and look at 3a we see that this is more than likely what we are all doing when we make a resolution. it states:
a : something that is resolved <made a resolution to mend my ways>
Now again lets look at my first question.
Why do we do this every year?

Seems to me, if we are making the same resolution every year, we are not mending our ways.
some would think 365 days would be an easy time frame to start mending our ways.  Research shows that if you do something for 30 days that it them becomes a habit.
But most fail even before the end of January to stick to their resolution. And reading up on some sites it shows that its for one main reason normally.  That reason is That we are trying to quit a habit, with out starting a new goal or habit. Those that want to quit smoking or quit drinking don’t try to replace it with something like running a marathon. 
So, My thoughts are, my Resolution, wont be for the new year. I want a life resolution.
I need life changes not year changes.
So, I figure I need to change things in my life. Yupp, that’s is what I figure.  So, Lets say I resolve to be, a better child of God.  I want to be more involved in the happenings of our church. Yes, this will be a struggle with the boys, But it can be done!! why? Because I have a wonderful loving supportive Church family!
I want so resolve to be a better wife. Why? Because I am sure that husbands do not need constant nagging, which I think most of us do most the time. I want to be more supportive, more loving, more understanding.  I want to think before I speak more. I want to have more sweet and tender moments, the ones that happen out of no where, but that show how much you love and care. 
I want to be a better mother and step mother( ew wicked word LOL) I want to be loving and kind and supportive to the children. I want to be a friend when I can and a mother when I need to be. I want to be a cheerleader for them, and a woman of God who can show them that you can have fun, you can be your self with out dishonoring God and family.  That you don’t need drinking smoking or partying to have that fun!
I resolve to be a better sister, daughter and aunt.
I want my brother and sister(in love) to know that I will always love them, That I am here to support them or help them in any way possible!
I want my niece to know I can be the coolest auntie ever! That she can talk to me call me text me when ever she wants, that I will also be a cheerleader for her. That I love her every day and always have and always will.
As goes for my mom, I want her to also know and feel the same things That I will support her and love her no matter what. I want her to look at the woman I am, the woman I am becoming and the mother I am and I am becoming and feel proud. And feel that she did a good job raising me, because I feel that way and I feel so honored to be her child and to have had such a great person in my life as a role model.
And yes I resolve to give my self pep talks, to try to find ways to become more active, and to lost this baby weight I gained during pregnancy. I want to be a healthy happy and active person, wife and mother. I do not want to sit on the side lines and not be able to participate in activities and games with the kids. This means eating healthier too, so that the boys for sure learn how to eat, and how much to eat. I do not want to be a bad role model.
I also resolve to continually work on being a more patient  person.  I don’t want to get aggregated as easily as I use to. I resolve to always ask God to help me be more patient more calm, more even killed and level headed. I want to be a person that is a real friend, a true person, that who you see out in Wal-Mart (ok not looks wise cause I always look bad!) and who you see at church, and who you see at home are all the same person. I do not want to be fake. I can not stand fake. I resolve to stand firm on my beliefs and my thoughts. I resolve to be honest and forth coming. Why keep thoughts to your self? why not be honest? When it really is called for? And no I don’t mean I am giving my self the right to be mean. But, why lie even a white lie to anyone? If I don’t feel like leaving the house, I will say I just don’t feel like going any where today. If I don’t feel like having company I will just say Can we plan for another day? I just don’t feel up to it today. 
I know I am rambling but this has just been on my mind.
I want to find a reason every day to Praise God, Whether its small or big. I want to find a reason.
And speaking of that I resolve to find a reason and Blog even if its just one line, about it every day. And I do resolve to blog more too. I want to stop and look back one day and see how much I have grown Even if its just from my blogging.
So to end this Blog, I will Note what I am grateful for from yesterday and I will wait to state what I am for today til tonight.
For Jan 1st 2012:
Dear Father God,
I praise you For bringing Calm into the midst of this storm.  You gave me a chance to speak my mind in weeks past. I spoke as much as needed to be heard by who it was heard by.  And from this I have a little more calm in our life here at the Mahanay House.  From this You blessed us by Letting Keith and I see his daughters.  Seeing Sarah see the twins, her brothers, for the first time was priceless. How much they liked her from the first look at her made my heart so happy and so full of joy. On this day, I stopped and thought about how far we have come since Jan 1, 2011. WE have twin sons who are perfect And amazing blessings That you gave us! I will forever be grateful for this. I can see glances of my father, and other family members in the way they do things. Which makes me think I have a piece of those whom I miss right here on earth and in my arms. Today My husband Got to see his oldest Sarah again. And we have a chance at having things change so that we can see her more! And I am so blessed for this!  For you opening a door, so that we can all see her and she can get to know her brothers. Thanks you Father for this. I already feel so blessed here in 2012  and its just been a day and a half! Lord, I will continue to praise you more, and work on honoring you in all of my ways. I thank you for every day that you let me wake up and Breathe in the new day!
In YOUR grace,
Your child,
Jessica