Thankful Thursday

I have been think a lot lately about trying to post more and more.  Which made me realize today that I want to go a thankful Thursday.  One blog in the week either with one thing I am so very thankful for or with praises and thanks being sang to the Lord for everything big and small though the week. Apparently if I do that I am really going to have to make my self take lil notes and stop and think about every lil moment that gives my heart so much joy through what ever trials, sorrows and tribulations I might have been going though during the week.   Since I thought of this on a Thursday.... and its a topic that we should always think of. . I am going to start.

Throughout the day I kept thinking about my mother. Lynne. I though of so many things even when I was feeling I was stuck in a hellaceous rut. Kids whining and screaming refusing naps pressing my buttons. Painting their self and brothers with their poop.  I kept thinking I am who I am today because of the amazing woman who raised me to be so.
 

I am not trying to be boastful.  But I'm kind,  loving, caring, helpful, hopeful, sincere, have a God fearing heart, I'm out spoken when needed, I'm a shoulder to cry one, an ear to listen, a hand that will pick you up, I'm typically reliable,  understanding, strong willed, stubborn, an active mom, a woman with a servants heart, open minded but stand firm in my beliefs and standards, I can cook a meal, clean a house, organize, I'm a good hostess to those whom want to be hosted, my Door is always open, I'm polite, well mannered, bashful, yet out going, I'm a woman of many talents and wonders. And all of this plus so much more I received from my mother.

 If it wasn't for her I wouldn't be half of the woman I am today. She instilled so much into me. I owe her more than she will ever know. And I love her to infinity and beyond times a zillion.   She didn't have an easy life. And she never let that kill her spirit. She always fought for what was right and for what and whom she loved. She would give us space but still be there. She would instill morals and values and teach us that family was everything and came first.  She lived to serve God her husband and her kids. She has so many talents and is so smart and beautiful even though she never would say it or believe it.  I hope to accomplish in my life what she has accomplished. I know many would still look down upon and frown on being a wife and mother and not being out in the workforce.  But her job was a million times harder than any job you could get paid to do. I was not an easy child. By any means. I was mean and ugly and hateful about 79% of the time. And when I finally grew up and looked back I realized that no matter what I did or said she was there for me she loved me despite my flaws.  despite my unwavering self destruction. She was there every time I fell every time I stumbled or broke down. She is honestly my best friend . Because of her I take heart and courage in knowing I can be and will be the best mom to my sons I could ever be. I have hope since God gave me her as a mom that I can't take hold and conquer any situation with the help and love of Christ. And not only is she the worlds best mom ever and the best friend a daughter could ever ask for. But when I see her with my children, my baby boys, it brings so much joy to my heart knowing what an amazing grandmother they have.  This is what I am so very thankful for. I am thankful God gave me to her and her to me. To have her raise me and carry me. To have her in my life. To know that she loves me and the kids more than life its self. I know she would do any and everything in her power to help us and do what ever it took to get anything done at any time.  I am beyond blessed and thankful for my momma!!!

XOXOXOX ,

The grateful and thankful daughter. 

The Phoenix inside

Today, I was realizing, I am in my own transformation. Again of course. It seems I am a Phoenix. Or maybe that My soul is a Phoenix. IDK. One way or another. I feel I am in a transformation process again.


For those that might not know what the mythological Phoenix is, here is the back story real quick like.

A phoenix is a mythical bird that is a fire spirit with a colorful plumage and a tail of gold and scarlet (or purple, blue, and green according to some legends). It has a 500 to 1000 year life-cycle, near the end of which it builds itself a nest of twigs that then ignites; both nest and bird burn fiercely and are reduced to ashes, from which a new, young phoenix arises, reborn anew to live again. The new phoenix is destined to live as long as its old self. It is said that the bird's cry is that of a beautiful song. The Phoenix's ability to be reborn from its own ashes implies that it is immortal.


Now that we have had a history lesson in Mythology.......... Let me continue to build my nest......


Just 4 short months ago, we were in the midst of packing and preparing to move. I knew it was going to be a lot of adjustment for the 5 of us. I just did not realize what kind of journey I was being put into at that moment.


Well, We had tons of drama follow us.......... And I knew that was coming. But now...... most of that is done and I have had time to think more and more about the people the friends and so called friends the family and the adopted family, in laws and out laws, churches, and church members, Child hood friends to new ones, decisions made, things left unsaid or just never said to never hurt another, things said, thoughts thought, rumors.... well You get the Idea!


For me this is going to be my moment of building my nest. and setting it on fire...........


I hold on to so much, and hold too much in.

I am tired of Never completely letting go and always having hurt. So with out any names or what ever Im going to release all from my torture chamber that is in my heart.




From Youth and teenage years:
Friends came and went, People talked trash, I was hurt. before ever being active..... in a private manner, I was talked about. my name smeared. people had a certain thought about me......... no matter what I did or didnt do. Church members hurt me by not standing by me. Friends parted ways from me. a Good guy that was interested in my turned his back ....... Oh all this was just in Crockett!
You get to Grapeland and things were a lil better. but people still had their issues. they still talked

Its amazing how small minded kids are and that you know stuff like that also comes from their parents! Bullying isnt a new thing. all this is bullying. I went to the prom looking like a movie star....... but what was said was more like i looked like a porn star! That is something that would never make sense to me! I was clothed and practically covered. but others were in barely nothing.


I have been blamed over the years for a loss of friend ship with other females. Always amazed me how I could never get along with girls...... always could talk and confide in men though!

Then there were friends that were married when i was not, and had kids when i didn't. So I thought in my mind when i get to the place they are in...... things will be different..... Talk about having the Rudolph the reindeer syndrome! I wasn't allowed to play in their reindeer games........... even after being married and having kids.


And let me just mention...... since bringing up kids...... I have been very blessed, in many ways. My kids are phenomenal! Even with all the added stresses during pregnancies and nicu stays We were SO blessed by our Father God!
And things that bothered me though. well, really no family caring to see the kids in nicu. I know they were far away but I think about if they even would of felt guilt or pain heck even shame if something would of turned out different with the kids!

I have totally changed my mind about baby showers. I personally might not ever really attend one...... I don't really do it on purpose. I mean I felt bad for a church member years ago when she was pregnant with her son cause no one came. And I guess at least her (our) Church put effort into hers. made her feel special on that day and helped with the things for the baby boy. I am not sure If i really have ever been more disappointed than When pregnant with my twins. I mean for Gods sake IT WAS TWINS! I can say if it wasn't for two of my very best most amazing women/friends/sisters That btw I have never ever met in person! we only have talked on like for what seems like a million years now! They were there for me, and my babies, and my husband in so many ways I love these two women and their families so much its not even funny, and trust me its not cause of money, or gifts, its for the shoulder they lend, the listening ears. and the love in their hearts! They are just plain amazing!

And Gees, lets get me started on Reason, he wasn't even important enough for anyone to bat an eye lash at And that my loves is why .... I took it upon my self to get him every single dang thing I wanted for him WITH OUT help from outsiders!
So, yeah, baby showers........ and I do not get along. Probably never will. Yes each child is special....... and sure they might deserve their day, but after one, unless its multiples, just do a dang diaper shower and call it that. If having multiples as a first wasn't important to anyone.. then yup. I'm over showers, bridal, wedding, Bachelorette, baby, house warming, vow renewal, OVER IT ALL! It just seems to me that people are out to get all they can out of everyone and anyone. But I thought the point in so much of this was that you are just celebrating life or joining life. So, why have to have gifts? why ask for gifts?!?! I mean if you know me or knew me around my twins 1st b-day, you know that I told EVERYONE NOT TO BRING GIFTS! NO GIFTS are necessary, why? Not cause I don't want them or that they wouldn't want them, or that we wouldn't need them, but because it was to Celebrate the Life of Gabe and Zeke that the LORD GOD ALMIGHTY Blessed us with! They are my super heroes! They came into this world early and have risen up and over come! THAT is what I WANTED TO CELEBRATE!!!!! and still to this day NO one really understands that other then my self my husband and my mom! They get why I don't care for presents! Heck Donate it to a local NICU! Donate it to March of dimes!!!

Im just tired of having all this pain inside me.

Me being the friend on the back burner, the one you only call text message fb, im, what ever if your bored down, lonely, sad, or just want to whine. I Do love every one of my friends, but I can NOT keep carrying around this hurt, I can not deal with not speaking out any more. And Each stick, that is a burden that I have held on to, its going into this nest......


I am letting this out cause, well. There are a few i still want to have in my life, and i want to talk to. But, I cant keep up the lies, the fake friendships, the just being polite to get by, the back stabbing, the trying to steal my place, or replace me or make me feel belittled, put down, discourage me, ......This is why, Other than VIP & & VIF As of tomorrow at 2.... am done with Crockett, Done with HoCo. Done with the stagnant water from that area. (even funnier cause this is some of what the preacher at FBCF talked about Sunday morning!)



I light these branches And My Crockett Phoenix is on fire!!!
out of the blaze of flames

I arise, over come, I drink from fresh flowing waters!

Shake off the old ashes!!!

I am free and Reborn!

not only do i do this mentally but spiritually! Being born anew in God is like being a Phoenix! and being down here I feel renewed!!!
And let me say, Being reborn in the Spirit is hard! and....... being born out of these flames are hard! choosing to keep family and friends and letting go of others, its hard!!! hard cause no matter what, some of the ones I cut out I have to deal with by association! or still see or have to be remembered about. even though I would love to just shut the doors and move on completely! You can not always get away from your past, or people from your past, but you can try your hardest to never look back!

So, Now you get what my Phoenix in side is all about! What is your Phoenix? anything YOU need to set afire and leave in the ashes?!?!?!

Forward looking and positive thinking =)
Love,
Jessica


Post Script ;)
Let me add that I have missed out on friendships with Women I Believe are wonderful mothers, wives, and Christian women, whom are in good marriages etc. all because I know of the jealously of the friends we have in common, seems so many can not take their friends being friends, or can only handle being friend with one at a time, or the ones that seem to fit perfectly in their world. not in the times when they don't have time for you kind of situations.

Hedges & Weeds

Let me start off with a disclaimer of sorts: I am not judging. I am stating my opinions. I have been married, it was a Godless, loveless, hurtful, harmful, marriage. I call it my scrimmage marriage. Yes I loved him, but not in the way He should of been loved, nor was I loved like I should of been. God was not in our marriage no matter how hard I tried. The biblical passage stating " “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? And what communion hath light with darkness?” (2 Cor. 6:14, KJV). "

was us to a T

We did not have a foundation that was firm.....

We did not have common goals, or interest...

We were not compatible in any form or fashion..............

I am raised catholic, and even the Catholic Priest stated we were not to have been married (ie i was pardoned from the church and "allowed to be divorced")

I am no longer a part of the Catholic church but I do know that our marriage was not a Christian marriage, and was not a biblical one......... it was not one that GOD wanted to bless with children. IT was not one that blessed neither my self nor my ex.

now. that you know my past my sins my baggage ...........let me move forward............


Today a Friend posted this on Facebook:


"My husband and I have drawn those lines very clearly for our individual and mutual friends of both genders. Men, you do not have a friendship with me without being friends with my husband as well. Women, you do not have a friendship with my husband unless you're my friend too. You don't turn to my husband for your emotional problems, no matter what they are in regards to. You have other people in your life that it is appropriate for you to turn to. Same thing for men with me. We do not text, call, Facebook, tweet, or anything else with people of the opposite sex, and if for some reason we need to or someone reaches out to us, the other one is the FIRST to know it, not the last. We are NEVER in the same room alone with someone of the opposite sex for any reason. And most importantly, people of the opposite sex WILL be both of our friends, or they will not be either of our friends. Anyone of the opposite sex who wants a relationship with you and not your spouse is TROUBLE, no matter what you or anyone else thinks. I don't care who you are, how long you, me, or my husband have known each other or what the nature of the relationship was. Opposite sex relationships outside of your marriage have a very sneaky toxic potential. The right moment should never happen because there should be no allowance for such a moment. If u allow for those moments, you do not value your spouse or your marriage the way you should."



Now, This is something that is very near and dear to my heart! It is something that speaks to me with such might and such power, that I just knew I had to write a blog about this.


Marriage is a sacred gift from God. It is the union of two imperfect people........ who God sees fit for perfection together with His help! With out it, you are still two imperfect people, in an imperfect world with the devil at your door knocking. Tempting. Waiting for you to fall. Waiting for the crack in the door for him to be let in.

Now even with God in your marriage The devil is there. He is trying to harm you and fool you. The devil loves to make you look foolish and unworthy. He is deceptive, and mean, and harmful, rude, unruly, he can disguise him self in any form or fashion!

And in order to try to Keep him out. To keep him far away. To safe guard our marriages there are steps we can take!


Step one: Safe guard your marriage with fences! (or hedges as Jolene Engle says at her blog: The Alabaster Jar Find it here :Putting up hedges )

What I mean when i say this is come to a common ground where you and your spouse think you are safe. Give your self boundaries, Not showing that you do not trust each other because to be married you have to have full trust and faith in your spouse! But I mean boundaries to show to yourself, your spouse, and the world.... the respect you have for each other, your self and your marriage.

Boundaries to me are little things.....

My husband and I, along with the friend and her husband quoted up top, feel that To show respect you must not be alone with a person of the opposite sex. Not that we do not trust our selves, but that we do not want to be put in a situation where we could have our morals or our character compromised. Its not worth risking our integrity, our marriage, to have a friend of the opposite sex. Again the devil can be in disguise. Situations like this can be the devil testing you, your marriage, your strength, your commitment, testing to see if you will go against the will of God for your marriage.


Im not saying you cant have friends that are single or of the opposite sex.. BUT......... its best to be in a group setting when this is happening. safe guarding. That's the phrase that will be used the most here. Safe Guarding!


Now, lets keep talking about singles for a moment........ their goals in life are different than ours. We are married, our goals are to keep a nice home, a happy spouse, a great marriage and to keep God as the center of it all...............

For a single, their goals are to get where they want to go in life, to meet a mate, (or not to) To have kids (with or with out mates or no kids at all) a lot want to advance in their careers, or their educations, (yes some of us married do to) but what if you have a single friend that is envious of what you have? your spouse! What if the lines were crossed? then what? Would you regret not having boundaries?

As for my self. No man will be in my house with out say my family around, be it my mom my brother my sister my friends(girl friends) my HUSBAND. I will not risk feeling stuck. or feeling worried, I do not want to bring shame upon my house or my marriage.


Moving forward:


Couple friends, These are great for us! as the married people. We have more of a common ground. whats even better is if our couple friends are Christian like us! and have similar values!

Like lets take for instance a friend of mine....... She and I have known each other for umpteen years! Junior high, High school, her married me single, us both married, us both married with kids........ Shes like an adopted auntie to my Children. She is one of the few I have Felt 100% comfortable with and knowing she could provide for every need of my children one of the few that has watched them.. We had a conversation earlier about how important this is....... the having couple friends, that share the same values, morals, ethics how ever you want to say it. 1, its nice to get together as a group ( i have rarely had the opportunity to partake in her gatherings and that saddens me ) men and women fellow shipping over games movies, what ever, but at the same rate you have a built in bff in the wife of the other couple and your husband has a built in bff in the husband of the other couple. and if you share the same thoughts you know that if the man had a personal problem he would not cross the lines and come to you the wife (of the other couple) but to the husband, for man should rely on his brother, and the same as the wife. you would not want her to come to your husband but to you.......... or even the both of you for comfort or talking. This is a bonus of having couple friends! And......... for example..... Her husband brought me over some goodies one day sent by her, she was a lil tied up to be able to do it her self. now showing respect to her and my husband and our marriages, I stepped out side my house to welcome him, ( I ended up sitting on the porch in a chair while we talked for a moment ) while he stood at the sidewalk to the porch. we had the appropriate amount of space between us and we were technically not alone. trust me the whole world of Crockett could see us *giggles*


And one day while I was packing up to move I was a lil too tied up to go receive boxes from her for she was helping us get ready to move. So, my husband went over to get them, while he was in the garage retrieving them she was standing out side the garage. This has NOTHING to do with not trusting our selves or trusting the man, but respect for our marriages our husband and our friends. What is even more funny, is until today....neither of us Knew the other did this! its just a common courtesy! This made me giggle when we both told our stories about it! Great minds think alike!


Another Great thing about couple friends..... is having mentors!

Couples that have been together many years, though many of what might turn out to be the same kind of situations you might just be facing!

My husband and I are blessed to have friends like this. they have been together over 25 years we share a love for God, A love for our marriages, a love for our kids (even though we are in very different places but she has been in my shoes!) We both adore (my husband and I ) both members of the other couple, and again in sharing the same mutual respect, we too would not be alone with the others mate. My husband tends to linger around her husband and I tend to linger around her, while we are all chasing my kids haha. They are not just friends, but to us they are our mentors, they show us and teach us that all obstacles can be overcome with the help of God and our spouse!


But we have to also stop and look at the world from time to time. If you look at the movies and the tv series, you notice that women disrespect men constantly! and men disrespect woman constantly. I hate to admit it but we learn from those shows! There is a series by another blogger Courtney opposite world She has a whole series on opposite world. Its great!

Back to my thoughts...

In opposite world we are taught so many things, That disrespect is okay.

That marriages are fairy tales...................

That the big huge weddings are what make a marriage last........

or that going into debt for a new house new car new furniture and all that are what will help you start your marriage.

I mean Take My friend KDW Her and her spouse had a small and intimate wedding....... they will be together 10 years in Feb.

MKP has been married 25 years! theirs was a JP wedding......... and it has lasted 25 years!!!!!! Did i say 25 years?!?!?!?!?

Same with my mother, PLM and my father they had a JP wedding and were together 26 years before the passing of my father.

Keith and I had a small gathering of family and friends...... and have only been together 3 years....... married. But we are aspiring to make it to 25, 30, heck 75 if we lived that long!

But when you stop and look at Tv, you see the weddings of the Kardashian's And do you see their marriages lasting?? Did you see Princess Dianna and Price Charles last?

Kim And Kris lasted 72 days.....................

Kid rock and Pam 4 months...........

Brittney and Jason a whooping 2 days............ 55 hours.............

Even the stars......... Hollywood stars. don't realize it takes love, respect, courage, honor, and most importantly.. God!!!


My favorite Poem that I wanted at what I thought would be my big wedding................


Marriage Takes Three


Marriage takes three to be complete;


It’s not enough for two to meet.


They must be united in love


By love’s Creator, God above.


Then their love will be firm and strong;


Able to last when things go wrong,


Because they’ve felt God’s love and know


He’s always there, He’ll never go.


And they have both loved Him in kind


With all the heart and soul and mind


And in that love they’ve found the way


To love each other every day.


A marriage that follows God’s plan


Takes more than a woman and a man.


It needs a oneness that can be


Only from Christ-


Marriage takes three.


By: Beth Stuckwisch





And it does! It takes three! In our marriage it takes God, Keith and I to make it work!

Marriage is hard work, never ending hard work,!!

It takes a strong mind, a whole heart, Lots of diligence, Commitment, compassion, understanding, Talking, lots and lots and lots of good ol communication! If you don't have communication........ you will have lots of fails! and when you fail...... YOU get right back up and talk! and work it out! and make it happen! Marriage does not take 50/50 work! it takes 150 & 150 work and effort!

People brag............ they do it in blogs, they do it on instagram...... they do it on twitter..... and they for sho do it on facebook. Talking all the time about how wonderful how great maybe even how easy............ And I won't lie, I'm sure I am one of those people. But..... Marriage takes work.. Lots of work. You fight, you kiss you make up.. You cry, you fight some more. You constantly pray, you pray for your self, you pray for your spouse, you DEF pray for your marriage. You pray so much some times you do not even know if you have the strength to pray more, or if you even have anything else to pray about. Then, You come together to talk it out, work it out and continue to walk beside each other! Because the family that prays together......stays together!!!!

If someone ever told me they didn't fight with their spouse, I would have to ask if their spouse was imaginary! I mean two imperfect people..... can not....... be perfectly happy 100% of the time. Everything causes stresses! work, kids, money, finances, bills, chores, house, vehicles, yard .... you name it its a stress! But what you do not do......... is just walk away.

Nothing in life is easy........and if everything in life was.... I have to say life would be boring!!!!


One more thing I really want to touch on tonight is............

When I was reading one of those blogs again tonight, I realized, Even though I don't want you all happy happy happy all over facebook being fake... I also do not want to see you bad mouthing your spouse. Its disrespectful! To you , your marriage and to your spouse! And I don't mean you cant ask people for help or prayer when it comes to things that might bother you. But remember You are married to your best friend. You should always be able to talk to your spouse about anything and everything, there should never be a need for secrets! There should never be a need to want to just gripe and complain publicly.

We all need praise......... so if things are not where you want them, instead of just harping on all the wrong. maybe praise the right and look for the good instead of all the bad. make sure you see the light and not all darkness and night. Remove the weeds out of your garden of marriage! let no weeds grow or attack!

Think of God as your weed killer *hehe*

I am sure most of this will just go in one eye and out the other (haha get it? your reading and not listening so it could not be ears!!! Yes I think I am funny at times)

But take to heart, That respect is needed, Boundaries are a great way to safe guard......... life is not all roses, butterflies, fairies and unicorns! But, Every drop of hard work, every drip of sweat.... Will make your marriage grow and be more fruitful! I wish the best to anyone that reads this and I pray your marriage will be strong, united & God filled!!

Love and Blessings,

Jessica


P.s I must add a thanks to JDB, KDW, MKP & PLM for thoughts, words and being inspirations!

the 30 list!

THE LIST:


1. List 20 random facts about yourself.






I'm 31 and keep thinking I am 32. haha

I had 3 kids in 22 months

I have a weakness for popcorn

Since being "older" there are not many veggies or fruits I will not eat.

I was(am/always will be) a band geek!

I play the flute(do not insert jokes here >-< )

I did go to band camp one time. (again do not insert jokes here)

I have studied at 3 different colleges and still have hardly any credits.

I was born in HOUSTON

Raised In Crockett.

I am a fan of everything HOUSTON! (rockets, astros, Texans, Dynamo & Aeros)

I am on my 2nd marriage.

The first was even declared divorce worthy by a catholic priest! (that says something right there!)

MY husband is my soul mate.

we went to the same high school, even to the same prom, and ever really "met" and we were in a small school.

I have PCOS.

I was told I would never ever have kids not even though fertility treatments. by SEVERAL drs.

I have had "5" surgeries and 1 broken bone in 31 years of life.

I have a love of the arts, Paintings, sculptures, music, plays, musicals, be it in person or on tv.

Im a perfectionist at heart, who is so ocd, and ADD that nothing is ever right that I do.


2. Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears.

Acrophobia- Fear of heights, but really its heights plus bridges, that came from when i was a child and we got side swiped and all i remember is sitting in the back of the vehicle and being able to see the water....... not the side of the bridge not the road but water only. or so that's what my memory recalls plus, the added weight doesn't help me out at all with the fear. being heavier hurts more when you fall LOLOL.

Climacophobia- Fear of stairs, climbing, or of falling downstairs. I can walk em I can Climb em........ but..... i freak out in my head when thinking about falling well and if you add in an escalator it freaks me out thinking about getting stuck in them......

Kakorrhaphiophobia- Fear of failure or defeat. I fear all the time, that I am not good enough, not smart enough, not bright enough, Fear that what ever i touch or try to do I will fail at. I fear failing at being a good wife, at being a loving caring supportive proverbs 31 woman/wife. I fear at failing my kids at being the best mom they could have, I fear failing to be a good daughter. I fear failing to be a good Christian, A good friend. etc. Of course i have never been clinically proven to have these fears but when you really stop and think about what bothers you what you deep in your heart feel and fear you can get a list a mile long I am sure!







3. Describe your relationship with your parents.

I am very close with my mother. Shes my mom, my best friend, my kids grandmother, and a stand up amazing woman! My father God rest his soul, I miss more and more every day with every thing that the kids go though and do.




4. List 10 things you would tell your 16 year-old self, if you could.

God comes first always!

Do what brings your heart joy!

Never let others take you for granted!

Stand up for what is right!

Stand up for your self!

Believe in your self and God ALWAYS!

Keep the faith in your self and in GOD NO matter what!

people come and people go, but its God who is always there for you no matter what!

Wait for God to show you the door to love. He has a plan you just wont understand!

Even though Family always comes first to you, Not all people think that way!

Walk away from being hurt & don't look back!

(yes there are 11) haha

5. What are the 5 things that make you most happy right now?

Gabriel

Ezekiel

Daniel

Keith

and our new home!!!!!!!

6. What is the hardest thing you have ever experienced?

Leaving my twins, Gabe & Zeke, to go to the hospital for who knew how long....... days away........ while pregnant with Daniel........... but this almost ties with When Gabe and Zeke were born and shipped a state away.


7. What is your dream job, and why?

Well, My dream jobs, as a child were being a mother (and yes a SAHM was the dream) and having my MSN in nursing and being a nurse. ......... one down one to go. Nursing is a job that touches my heart, The VA nurses my dad had.......... and the NICU nurses my kids have....... its one of the most important jobs out there!

8. What are 5 passions you have?

Cooking,

reading,

life(any my husband and kids )

GOD!

active life style!


9. List 10 people who have influenced you and describe how.

Peggy Lou Orbke: my Grandmother A strong stubborn, amazing, woman!

Patricia Lynne Moore: My Mother, A woman who Molded me by showing me how strong, smart, beautiful, gifted, graceful, loving, kind, compassionate, determined and a great mother!

C.D.P. for showing me what I do and do not want in a husband, he was a wonderful brother who was strong and amazing in so many ways and had such great qualities that I looked up to when I was younger.

Mel: for showing me that all things are possible and you can make it though anything if you rely on God and put your all into it!!!
Lee Roy Vargas, For showing me what a great man is made of! for showing me how to work hard and learn new things at any age!
Sandra Dillard, For being an amazing teacher, friend and inspirational woman!

Gabriel and Ezekiel: for being super heroes, over coming so many obstacles that were put in their path since birth!
Daniel: for coming out big and strong and showing us what he is made of from a early age!

Sonia, She was one that I looked up to since I was born, Smart Beautiful, and over all awesome. when i as young she is who i wanted to be like and boy could you tell from small things like my messy bed room haha.


10. Describe your most embarrassing moment.

Most embarrassing one i remember was at state play offs for Football my Jr year. we were having to do our routine on the side lines due to bad weather and us not being allowed on the field when we were in the middle of our routine, we switched flags ( i was on the flag line) so we all drop our polls pick up our others and a team mate threw her poll in the wrong place, i stepped on it slipped and busted my butt ................ in front of what felt like 1000's of people.............

11. Describe 10 pet peeves you have.

slurping,

sniffling,

picking wedgies,

picking noses,

picking at your teeth,

sucking things out of your teeth,

snoring,

burping/farting

not using thanks please, yes maam no maam yes sir no sir. (so manners in genreal)

leaving the toilet seat up!!!!!

12. Describe a typical day in your current life.

wake,

drink coffee

get kids up

feed em

pick up,

feed em again

pick up

feed em again

pick up

sleep

LOLOLOLOLOLOL


13. Describe 5 weaknesses you have.

my kids

my husband,

my mother

arms hahahaha

chocolate cake teeeheehee.


14. Describe 5 strengths you have.

the things i am the strongest at are loving those who love me

helping those that i can

relying on GOD

physically my legs haha

and im not too shabby at writing poetry


15. If you were an animal, what would you be and why?

Id want to be a penguin or a lobster (that reminds me of the show friends) cause Id want to know my husband was my mate for life no matter what.


16. What are your 5 greatest accomplishments?

3 of my greatest accomplishemnts are my kids Gabe Zeke and Daniel.

one i would like to say was losing the 100+lbs before the twins and i like love to say that #5 is repeating that....... so we will leave #5 blank for now =)


17. What is the thing you most wish you were great at?

At believing in my self!!!!!!!


18. What has been the most difficult thing you have had to forgive?

Not accepting me, my kids or my husband, and us not being put before others who do not matter. I know that sounds foolish, but again you know i believe in FAMILY first!


19. If you could live anywhere, where would it be and why?

Any where my husband is, that is where I want to be!!!


20. Describe 3 significant memories from your childhood.

1.) On palm Sunday Getting a palm leaf, making it into a cross and walking home with my father from church.

2.) The Christmas that my parents came home with a blaizer full of wrapped gifts picking out one gift, then taking the rest and delivering them to children who were in need in our county!

3.) every holiday season baking breads cookies and candies with my mom!!!


21. If you could have one superpower, what would it be and what would you do with it first?

I have a super power! I made twins! =) hehe other wise maybe i would like to be a human lie detector!!!!!


22. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? 15 years?

5 years maybe graduating college, kids in school and being an active part of the PTA!
10 years, lots and lots and lots of games for sports the kids are in ;)
15 years, i hope to be thinking about a way to celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary together that would only be 2 years away from then.


23. List your top 5 hobbies and why you love them.

cooking, sewing, baking, playing the flute, cant think of another great one right now. haha cause they are all so different and relaxing for me!

24. Describe your family dynamic of your childhood vs. your family dynamic now.

not too much differnet just all boys in the house now vs 1b 1g from when i was a kid, other wise values and morals are still instilled strong!

25. If you could have dinner with anyone in history, who would it be and what would you eat?

I would love a dinner with my grand parents and great grand parents, I would love to know more about who I am where I came from and where all that combined with me today would show where I am headed. and meals i would just want foods from the generations.

26. What popular notion do you think the world has most wrong?

has most wrong? like one thing is worse than the other?

IMO, its a lot!

men are supposed to be the leaders in the house.

it was adam and eve not adam and steve...... no offense but the only want to know in the end other than we are supposed to live by the bible is when GOD calls us all home.

that abortion is ok and your not killing a baby your killing a lump of cells, its a baby! no matter what you want ot call it the moment the sperm meets the egg its a baby!

that money makes the world go round, what the world needs most is love and compassion. not money and worldly things!


27. What is your favorite part of your body and why?

my lips cause they are pouty and full

28. What is your love language?

Keith knows, thats all that matters LOL


29. What do you think people misundertand most about you?

that even though I am a "fixer" and a "people pleaser" that I do have a breaking point where my give a darn is broken and I no longer care. That I can only turn the other cheek so many times before I am worn out.


30. List 10 things you would hope to be remembered for.

being a GOD fearing woman,

being compassionate,

being loving,

being caring,

having a huge heart,

for raising Good boys who are morally sound, smart, and God fearing men.

For being my mother's daughter my Grandmothers grand daughter and my fathers daughter!!!

For having great work ethic!

For knowing how to take care of the home manage it and for being a great home maker and mother

For being a proverbs 31 wife and woman!

Finding Neverland

Let's begin with the moving day.............

I lucked into my Sister in love being able to watch the kids, G, E & D.

So that Morning, Keith And I woke up, got the kids up, and tried to start getting them ready when we received the call from Mom n Pops that they were just a 'lil ways away. So, as I'm trying to rush, here they come. Oh the looks of shock and awe on Gabe and Zeke's faces when they saw their Gigi was PRICELESS! Made me melt, made me want to cry. It had been about 2 months since they last saw her, which was funny because it really didn't feel that long in a way. They stopped in their places, smiled and then ran to her. Eager, ready and willing to be devoured in her hugs, kisses and all the love they could get. The bond and closeness that my children have with my mother is priceless to me! I could never ever ever ask for a better Grandmother to my children! I am blessed that she is my mom, but even more blessed that she is the grandmother to my children. It warms the cockles of my heart to see how much they love her!

So, on the road we go to get them dropped off to my Sister in love after we have the warming reunion. Then back to the house to start loading up as much as we could. OH the HORRORS of packing and loading.......... I was no way ready to really try to move. I did good with getting done what I could when it was just the kids and I at the house. All I can say now is HIRE MOVERS! and HIRE PACKERS, and HIRE THEM TO DO EVERY LITTLE THING THERE IS!

Oddly, it didn't really bother me when we were loading the house up, didn't bother me when we loaded the trailer, didn't bother me pulling away.......... I really thought it would. With all the emotions that were flooding my heart and mind the week before, I am still in shock and awe that I could leave with a happy heart. no fears, no dreading, no tears, no sadness. God provided me with a cool calm and collectiveness that I needed to get though these times.

So, after a few hours of doing the packing and loading....... off to pick up the kids and catch up to Keith and pops ........


Picking the kids up.....

well that was bitter sweet. Daniel was laying down with Chelsy.......... sleeping beauty didn't want to wake up for me to really say good bye........... But Daniel was wide awake and ready to go. The twins well they were worn out and tired. So loaded up car seats and loaded up babies. gave a hug to sister in love and we headed on our way. Surprised I didn't cry here either!


The Drive,......

was long...... haha. we stopped in Huntsville the BIG boys ate Golden corral but since they twins were practically nakie (from messiness at aunties house haha) and all their clothes were packed......... we got Churches and ate in the van with them.

When we arrived, we bought the kids up......... and OH MY WORD! They were so excited, they ran from end to end. checked out everything, THEY LOVE going up and down the stairs to the apartment. their faces were priceless! I would not of guessed they would of been so happy here until that very moment! God surely has blessed us with so many things in so many ways!


The unloading & unpacking,

Needless to say, I am actually still unpacking 18 days later. Its been a tornado in the house for a while now. Not bad per say but not totally livable by any means! Their bathroom was done almost instantly. Their bed room came together that night first night with the beds, and since has been decorated. as of two days ago their closet is just how I want it other than I need lots and lots more hangers for them.

As of yesterday The kitchen is just about how I want it. the living room is pretty good. Our bathroom is finito! for sure! our bedroom is a wreck! but It will be, and shall be worked on this week for sure.


My thoughts...

I love apartment living! So many said I wouldn't, I don't mind close by neighbors, I don't mind our area at all! I actually do not mind up stairs living, I know its only been 18 days, but I am in HOG heaven! We have our routines and we deal with them great! the kids are sleeping better here in their room together than they ever did at the casa de crockett. All three share their room, sleep through the night and sure don't mind it at all! they know we always eat at the table (already! haha) they are more open chatting more and more and are growing up even more since we have been here I swear!!

Daniel was crawling before we left our home in Crockett, Since, he has gotten so fast its not funny, sits up on his own and gets back down on his own, eats all our food and practically refuses baby foods. The new ECI ladies the twins have taken to like a charm! they each have their own lady and the come at the same time on the same day so that they both get to "play" with their worker!
the weekend we moved here, we went and shopped at grocery store and ate at cici's and they had a blast. The first weekend after moving here we went to the Mall and the kids played and played and played, then we went to a riverside park the following day and they played and played and played!
Their hearts seem so happy here!
The 2nd weekend, We went to the beach! and to a park! again. they are just eating this up!
I Knew It was time for us to leave................. I KNEW it had been coming for quite some time............... I love my CKTT friends and family, but the place is dead. It hasn't really grown, they wont let it grow in ways that would really benefit kids, etc, and haven't since I was a child! yes its nice quite country living where everyone knows everyone but they also gossip like crazy and get all up into every ones business like crazy too! I'm not knocking CKTT so don't y'all all go and get offended, its just a bitter sweet thing to me always has been. Its the place I was raised up, the place where drama ruled my life, it tore me down, and God had to build me back up. Its the place that So much hurt and pain has came and gone. And honestly its a place I hope God doesn't have in mind for us to live again. Visit ? YES Real soon. Stay for a bit........ sure........ but live life for ever............ raise my kids there...................... etc.............. Prayerfully not. I just Pray God of course Leads us always where he wants, and I always pray its where we will thrive and flourish......... but where we just came from was not that place for us. I know it is for some but it really couldn't do it for us.
If you have not..... I pray you seek it and find it with God's help and light.





The opportunities & possibilities ............


Are endless!!!!

This past weekend the 3rd after moving, we have gone to the beach/fished, then went back to the beach on Sunday, followed by a huge 5th annual thing here in the memorial park Tons of Christian bands(mostly rap and some a 'lil hard for my liking) but had booths pizza root beer floats and bouncy houses!

This up and coming weekend I'm sure if the weather permits we will be beach bound again! ;) No complaints here haha. and there is a fall festival going on where costumes are welcomed and we are SO READY!!!!!!!

The schools, the sports, the activities, for adults or children, the clubs (as in like things to do reading, biking, 4H, quilting, etc...) there is just SO MUCH STUFF!!

But, Where we are right now.............. Where we are planting new roots.......... this...... seems to be where We need to be, where my children need to be! Where my Husband IS PROUD of him self and I have never seen him as proud as he was just yesterday! That is what makes my heart happy.

You dream and you dream of finding a place where you thrive flourish and love. Some where you don't have to run away from. SOME where that you could technically get lost in............ You dream a lil dream........... make a lil wish............... You know that "some where...........................over the rain bow..................blue birds fly............................ " and you dream about seeing that place....... about ..............

Finding that place..............................

While I feel we have Grown up a lot in just moving and getting out of where we were.............

I believe.................

we have found our Grown up .............

Neverland.....................

Keith might just be peter pan...............And I might just be Wendy..................and the 3 monkeys maybe just maybe are the lost boys.................... But, We have our tree house up in the sky on never never land............. (never never to me must be always hehe)

and I leave you with this..................

Therefore my heart is glad, and my glory rejoiceth: my flesh also shall rest in hope. Psalm 16:9


Have you found your never land? The place where your heart is glad? you rejoice ? where you can rest in hope?



Blessings and love,

In HIS Grace,

Jessica

Sticks and stones

Sitting here today, Thinking about when we are little we are taught the lil saying....

Sticks and stones will break my bones,

but words will never hurt me.


And I realize, I will NOT be teaching that to my kids.


Words do hurt, they hurt in a way that can really leave a scar. It might be a scar on the inside but its a scar none the less!

Looking back to child hood, I was fearless!!

Nothing bothered me NOTHING scared me and NOTHING would ever bring me down!!!

But now, I stop and I realize, There are people on my friends list that I know I should delete. All they do is bring me down. But, IF I deleted them..... I know I would get messages and responses of Why are we not friends any more? Whats wrong? What did I do?

And the thing is, Im too polite to tell people still to this day that they have hurt me. That they have gone behind my back. That the KNIFE in my Back hurts so bad that all I want to do is cry. Why do I not tell them? Cause for one, They are a fake friend. They say they are on your side, They say they are there for you, they say blah blah blah(cause you know when you have one of those friends that is about all you hear after turning the cheek so many times) But it gets tiring, To always be the one to be hurt. To always be there for them though, text, email, facebook, phone calls, but to always be walked on like you are dirt beneath their feet. Heck Today I feel like even Carpet, tile, linoleum, and concrete are above me.

Why do I let things like this bother me? and get me down. And why do I hold it in is what I am always asking myself?


Well today its in a blog. I am letting my feelings out. I might get a PM or two about who are you talking about and what did I do. and again I will as usual respond with Its not you and never mind.



Looking back over the years, I have had a Friend, lets call him Jackson, Who married a lady named Melanie, and they have kids, the oldest is Rebecca. Well, for many many years I was always there for Jackson and Melanie, Loved them to death, I would even consider them family, Just like a brother and sister to me. So when Rebecca came (shes the oldest) of course I would of considered her a niece, Well, From that moment on, it was like I wasn't who they use to care for. I wasn't good enough to watch Rebecca , Or what I got Rebecca as Presents wasnt Good enough. Nothing I could ever do was ever pleasing to Jackson and Melanie. So I felt like I was a piece of dirt. Now their friends Lisa and the aunt Fiona well they could never do any wrong. Never. Lisa, aka Lili, well even though she was just a friend oh she could take Rebecca any where and do anything. and was always the right person for the job. Now my self. again. nothing ever was right or good enough.

Now coming to the more present day. Its the same thing in a different manner, with different people who I continue to try with and continue to be friends "family" what ever with, and I , always feel hurt in the end.


So, even though I am hurt and want to cry, I come back to a famous Dr Seuss quote: Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.




2 Corinthians 5:17-21
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men's sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. We are therefore Christ's ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ's behalf: Be reconciled to God. God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.





Romans 6:18
You have been set free from sin and have become slaves to righteousness.


1 John 5:18
We know that anyone born of God does not continue to sin; the one who was born of God keeps him safe, and the evil one cannot harm him.





1 Thessalonians 1:4-6
For we know, brothers loved by God, that he has chosen you, because our gospel came to you not simply with words, but also with power, with the Holy Spirit and with deep conviction. You know how we lived among you for your sake. You became imitators of us and of the Lord; in spite of severe suffering, you welcomed the message with the joy given by the Holy Spirit.


Colossians 3:12
Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.





1 Samuel 16:7
But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."


John 15:15
I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.


Psalm 139:1-4
O LORD, you have searched me and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O LORD.


Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.










And yes I have over loaded you all with biblical verses for a reason..............


The reason being. that even though I am hurt and saddened by the people of the world.


I know MY Father, MY God Has plans for me..... MY GOD LOVES ME FOR ME! I dont need friends or fake friends, I just Need MY GOD and MY Family.






And speaking of family.

Matthew 18:20 says


20 For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.”


So for anyone that would like to complain or say something about our not being in a church at the moment. here is my answer!!! there are 5 of us. My husband can lead && will Lead, and what is more amazing that surrounding your self in Gods creations of out side: the ocean, the trees, and everything he created in just a few moments!






anyways not exactly the blog i wanted to do bout moving, so...... we will get on that one sooner than later so you all can know what an amazing place we are in compared to the stagnate state we were at with where we came from.





Blessings and love!

Jessica the TWINspiring mom.


P.s. I hope this blog leaves you with a good taste in your mouth. One that lets you know its not where you come from but where you are going. One that lets you know Do what is your hearts desire and NO ONE else matters but God and your family. One that lets you know that YOUR happiness DOES NOT depend on OTHERS

When one Chapter ends

Tonight's blog, is a blog of reflection......... Sorry Ya'll.

I sit here thinking about memories & being nostalgic on the happenings in my life up until this point.

We moved to this lil place, Crockett,  when I as the age  our twins are, two and a half years old. I have left and come back and left and come back and repeated this process over my life.
First, for school in Houston Cause I HATED school here.
Then back and ended up at Grapeland for my remaining years in school.
Then To Huntsville for a short misguided time with a boyfriend.....
Then back..............
Then to Trinity for another misguided time.....
And then back, this time back to the house I was raised in.... For what I like to call a starter marriage.
It should of been, kind of wish from time to time it hadn't of been, But, we live we learn  we grow and we move on. One of the most learning experiences ever. I learned how not to love someone, and how not to be loved, I learned How a marriage should work and how one shouldn't, I learned what was important in a marriage, and what wasn't,  how to speak to someone and how to let someone speak to you.
Lets just say God knew what he was doing as I took the road more traveled, no really like 3 times prior to me, God knew, that I, his lost and misguided child, would find him, come back to him, and need to be reshaped , molded and formed back into the person I was meant to be. God KNEW that I was not to have kids in this marriage, that it was not for that time. HE knew to let me hit rock bottom, and to let me beg  plead and pray for his guidance, mercy and graces.  God let us part ways........ and it was for the best for sure for me.
a few years pass..........
And I head to a funeral, to support my "brother" when I see his brother....... whom I thought didn't want me there for one minute!
3 months later........ March of 2010..... I get a friends request on Facebook....  At this point in my life.... I had finally became happy! Happy with me, Happy with where I was headed in life, Happy with where I was in the moment, Happy with my size, personality & my confidence! Even Happy Knowing I would never conceive, carry or birth children.............. So, the doctor's said.
So, I accepted the friends request, Knowing the past is the past and things can change. Well, we chatted and talked then talked on the phone. Next thing I know we are going on a lunch date.
From lunch date and being given a gift of a 6 month gym membership (which as a couples membership) things just grew and grew fast. (this is where the house that has rebuilt me comes into play)
After our lunch date, we went to the gym after work,

Our 2nd date. The Gym 

then came back to the house where I preceded make him dinner, the first of many, at the house we are moving from. I believe our first meal was actually a quick one cause we were starving, so it was a salad topped with tons and crab meat. This is when he realized he loved salads. Then he brought me breakfast the next morning.  that night i cooked poni chicken, YUMM! if I do say so my self! and from here............ it was all up hill!
My mother got remarried in May, he was my date. Man did we look good together, and it ended up being our "engagement" pictures

We were already so in love......... SO head over heels, Didn't want to spend a waking or sleeping moment away from each other!

Then July came and we moved into this house together.
August we found out our love was multiplying.......
We were expecting, Expecting a shock and a blessing, Actually expecting two shocks and two blessings, The pitter patter of four lil sweet feet were going to become ours Thanks be to God.

Gabriel Lee and Ezekiel James were born 2-14-11 5 lbs 13oz, 5 lbs 10oz 17" 

Never did I know our love could make and create such beautiful blessings, Never did I expect God to bless us in this way. Thus their names, Biblical for how Grateful I am to the Lord for showing us the mercy and Kindness of him allowing us to have beautiful boys! To this day They still make my heart melt!

So, In this house, we were married(well in a church but this is where we came home to) In this house We brought home our two beautiful twin sons.  We shared our first holidays here, we have fought, we have loved, we have grown, we have become stronger in faith and in love....... we spent the twins first Holidays here............... and then...... We were immensely blessed again.....

Daniel Reason 12-5-12 10lbs5oz 21"long

Three beautiful bouncing boys! Doctors said I would be barren, But God said different! Again, I praised God asking him to bestow blessings upon our boys and name him Daniel.

Again, first holidays as a whole and complete family. 

A perfectly imperfect family that was beyond amazing, and beyond any thing I could ever of imagined!

From one to two, Two to Four, four two Five.I have never ever felt so alive!!!

And here we are ......... now. 

Hubby's working down in Lake Jackson, The Kids and I have been relying on the help of family & friends, to get anything done around town. Yet, as of today.............. We are officially moving!

We have the apartment, we have bills being transferred, everything being set up. And I a great feeling about this!

I believe that we are ending one chapter of our lives, and starting a new one. The possibilities are endless because God  writes our love story and we have the choices and opportunities Down there that are amazing for us, Us as a family and us as individuals!  The schools the kids would end up in are amazing! Keith's job is already bestowing more and more responsibility and opportunities for him to advance and grow. The gym I found has a day care!  the college is right there! for both K & I! the community center has amazing classes! There are parks around every corner!!!  Their library has story time & crafts. Its just so much to take in! The churches I have looked into are phenomenal! 

God didnt just close a door and open a window for us with this opportunity, He  Closed the door, left the window shut, and opened up a wall, and said here is a path, this shall be good for you and your family. Living here we have had blessings. We found love made a family and are eternally Grateful for God allowing us to be in the same place at the same time for these things to happen! But, this town just drowns us other wise. We have been lost sheep here for a while, jobs do not pan out, and IMO this city is dying. they do not allow for real truth growth,  and i felt like we were tied down and not going to be able to grow here. 

I do realize we will miss many things about here. 

Lee's China Inn -the place we have celebrated everything, first date, engagement, wedding, babies, EVERYTHING. Robert was always a first to know everything  lol

some friends, that have been God sends from time to time, I know life gets in the way, and I'm sorry that I wasn't a better friend to many of you. It's not that I didn't have time, I am a stay at home mom, and its not that I didn't care. Its more that I never wanted to be a bother or a burden with my kids. I know that might not make sense but. in my head it did. And I wont lie, I could not always look past the people that have hurt us in one way or another to be able to be around them and the friends that I loved. I might guard my heart, but, I really truly Guard my kids. I know in life we all get busy, but you never know when things will change. or when someone might not be there any more. My life lesson is to live in the moment and always try to be there for those you love..................something I have learned in this time. 

Family, The one that hurts the most is not being around our Great aunt, I love her like no other! She brings so much joy to us! Loves us for us and cares for us for us, Never did she ever look down on us for being together, never did she ever NOT love the kids...... She has a love for our boys, that just makes me smile and want to cry as I write this! Seeing her with our boys, melts my heart so much. and touches me. I love seeing the two different generations just have an amazing love for one another!!! SHE is what will keep bringing us back from time to time. Well, her and her daughters and grandkids, They don't seem like distant family but like family of the heart, I wouldn't ever of imagined how close and how much I could love some  "in laws" Of course I will be sad and miss the relationships that finally started to blossom with other family members.  Just goes to show again, life is short, live every day to the fullest! With with out doubts! love with all your heart!

So, Now i sit here......... knowing, in 17 days, we will share (well the weekend before since that is a Monday) but still. we will share, our last anniversary in this house. A house that was built with love and tears and fears, laughs fights, smiles, hugs,  cuddles, the sweetest of memories.

yet, I can sit here, and say, I am ready to embark on the great opportunities and possibilities that God has for us, For knowing we will be creating new memories, celebrating NEW first holidays in a new city, with new sights, and maybe even new traditions. And I know as I take my last steps off this property, I will leave behind the sad............. leave behind the hurt........... all while thinking of all the good. the holidays I shared with my father in this place, the never ending mornings of coffee, the card games and domino games........ the shows we watched together............... and between this house and the one I was raised in ....... the thing that is stuck in my head is...............

May God's blessings flow to all of you my friends, May you know the love and forgiveness of Him. Know that what blessings we have had bestowed upon us are from HIM and HIM alone!

If it wasn't for God, I'm sure we would of been lost a long time ago!

Thanks for reading our story, the end of one chapter and follow us on the journey of another chapter!

Moving with twins plus one, and so many many more blogs to come! PROMISE!!!!

Love and prayers, 

Jessica